Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others.
-Proverbs 12:15, NLT
Sometimes the only thing a cheater might admit to doing wrong is a backhanded admission.
What do I mean by “backhanded admission?”
“I apologize for not speaking up sooner to tell you how you aren’t meeting my ‘needs.'”
“My sin is the fear of man in that I was too concerned about what you would do if I told you how I felt.”
These are simply attacks of the faithful spouse. Notice that they imply criticisms of the faithful spouse.
So, they are backhanded admissions.
The cheater is not really admitting to their real, substantive sin here. Such admissions are really just another responsibility dodge on their part. The implied accusations are there as part of an excuse-mindset defending the lie of adultery justification.
A cheater making such admissions is not repentant in my opinion.
The repentant cheater is concerned about the damage their sins have caused. They are quick to listen and refuse to blame their victims. This is NOT the mindset of a cheater employing backhanded admissions.
Such backhanded admissions have a “I’m sorry that I have to beat you, again” sort of feeling to them.
Take no comfort in such admissions. The cheater is still deeply enslaved to their sin. They are still living in their lies.
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*A version of this post ran previously.
