Mattew 19:6b, KJV
What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
“I don’t know if I can commit to our marriage,” says the cheater.
“Well, that tells me what I need to know. It is probably best we are not married anymore. I see now by your ambivalence that our values–liking keeping our vows before God–do not align,” replies the faithful spouse.
Keeping their vows before God apparently has a lower value to cheaters speaking this way than keeping their “options” open.
You cannot force someone to work on a relationship. It takes two people to reconcile and rebuild.
Their ambivalence is your answer…
The marriage is dead. Rebuilding is not an option with a cheater in that state. You cannot fix this on your own.
Please save yourself the therapy bills and hours. The cheater has thereby declared their values do not align with yours. Their god is not your God for your God demands obedience and keeping of one’s own vows.
People who are true followers of Christ ought not to need convincing as it comes to committing to the marriage they entered into before their God. They are not ambivalent about honoring their own words and commitments.
If a cheater is egging you on to convince them to stay in the marriage and work on the issues there, please walk away. They already showed they lack integrity by cheating on you.
Besides, it is not your job to convince another person of the value of keeping their own vows to you and God.
Do you really want to be married to someone who needs such convincing?
I sure don’t.
Our values and who we truly worship do not align if I need to do that sort of convincing. They just don’t.
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But a faithful spouse has a difficult time letting go of the long held conviction that their partner is as committed as they are. So we cycle through this several times until we are forced to believe what their actions have been telling us all along.
Thanks DM, because sometimes we need a face full of cold water to wake up.
This is true.