Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
and justified when you judge.-Psalm 51:4, NIV
This verse comes after Nathan, the prophet, confronts King David over his adultery with–really sexual exploitation of–Bathsheba.
Part of that confrontation included some rather harsh judgments and punishments leveled against David and Bathsheba. Cheaters often jump over that part.
These judgments included the death of the child conceived in this illicit relationship AND a very public humiliation of David with his son having sex with David’s wives IN PUBLIC (see 2 Samuel 12:10-15)!
Context matters.
And just because a cheater claims the first part of Psalm 51:4 does not absolve him or her from the task of repenting.
God still requires a sinner to turn from his or her sin (see Hebrews 10:26-27).
And God may level His own punishments on the cheater like He did with King David. Does the cheater really want that SAME sort of treatment from God? I doubt it.
Most cheaters would rather avoid the whole public humiliation part. They prefer to be on the dishing end and not the receiving end of that one.
Yes, King David said these words in Psalm 51:4, yet God still made him deal with consequences of his murderous, adulterous sin including a very public humiliation!
Honestly, if a cheater is misusing this verse from Psalm 51 in an attempt to absolve themselves from the task of true repentance, then they clearly are not worshiping the God of the Bible. They are worshiping a god made in their own image–i.e. an idol.
It may just boil down to a blunt response in such matters (in your head):
Cheater: Against God alone have I sinned. I don’t have to tell you anything. It’s between me and God. It’s in the Bible! Psalm 51:4.
Faithful Spouse: We serve different gods if you believe that is true. The God of the Bible requires repentance before forgiveness. Jesus says so Himself in Luke 17:3, and that minimally includes coming clean with me plus ending your affair.
It is really not profitable to argue with someone who is hell-bent literally on “justifying” and otherwise covering for their sin. The best response is simply to NOT engage. Walk away.
Remember: You do not have to agree with their warped theology or narrative of the Christian faith. You are entitled to your own convictions.
It is not your job to straighten out your cheater’s theology. God will do that Himself–whether in this life or the next.
