“How did you find out?” says incredulous, busted Cheater
(“Shoot! He DID find out. I gotta figure out how to shut down that channel of information!”)
When a cheater gets busted and their first impulse is to learn how you discovered them, you know that cheater is the opposite of repentant.
Such is pride speaking–namely, they wrongly assumed that they could deceive you forever.
Now, the cheater wants to know how they got exposed so that they can shore up that vulnerability. The cheater is demonstrating through that response that they do not care at all about the faithful spouse and the harm they’ve done to them.
Notice that Cheaters are not concerned with how their actions impacted their victim. Cheating is not a problem to them. Their “problem” is you knowing and leveling consequences. They are in full damage control mode by asking the question about how one discovered their adulterous sins.
I wonder how many who come here got this response from their cheater when he or she was confronted with the truth of their cheating?
Such a response is a sad commentary on how sick the soul of the cheater is. They are still running from God.
How the faithful spouse found out about the cheating is far less important than the fact cheating was taking place!
People who care about both the cheater and the faithful spouse will not lose sight of this truth. They will understand such sin is a major matter than needs addressing.
Changing the subject to how such information came to light is just another cheater tactic to avoid accountability. It helps no one spiritually in the end (see 2 Cor. 5:10).
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*A version of this post ran previously.
