Cheater-Speak: “I never wanted to hurt you.”

“You got to understand that I never wanted to hurt you.”

-Cheater

Why would a cheater tell their spouse that they never wanted or intended to hurt them?

I think this is all about protecting themselves. The cheater is attempting to protect themselves from the reality of what they did.

By attempting to get agreement about this from their victim, the cheater is essentially attempting to get the faithful party to acknowledge that the cheater is “not so bad.”

Barring success at this, the cheater might settle with telling themselves this self-serving line.

My response to such a cheater:

So what if you did not intend or want to hurt me? That doesn’t change reality. You harmed me deeply, and instead of trying to help me heal, you are making this about you. Don’t your realize how cruelly selfish you are by saying such a thing!