“We just drifted apart,” says Cheater.

This is probably one of the lamer excuses a Cheater might give for their behavior. Like ships on the ocean of life, this metaphor suggests the tides of time simply separated the couple. In other words, the excuse serves to blame external circumstances.

Is it possible to “drift apart” as a couple? Of course.

But cheating is never a healthy solution to this situation. In fact, I would argue divorce isn’t either–(unless, of course, one partner has cheated). The solution is re-investment in the relationship.

When Cheaters say stuff like this, I wonder why they get a pass for not reinvesting in the marriage as opposed to blowing it up via infidelity.

The solution is focusing on what helped the couple connect in the past. This is investment in the relationship. Yet, Cheaters aren’t looking to strengthen the marriage–that’s hard work–rather, they want the quick, sugary hit of an affair that devastates all, ultimately.

“We drifted apart,” says Cheater.

“No, you made decisions to undermine our marriage relationship. You rowed your boat away from mine,” says Faithful Spouse.