“What happened to us?” asks Cheater.
“You cheated, and so, we divorced. It’s pretty simple,” says Faithful Spouse.
Cheaters asking this question are not asking for information. They are attempting to shift blame onto you, faithful spouse.
Your current marriage ending narrative makes them look bad; so, they are attempting to manipulate you into accepting a more flattering–to them–divorce narrative.
Also, if they are asking this sort of question, they are NOT repentant.
How do I know? To be repentant, they have to accept full responsibility for their sins before they can turn from them. They aren’t accepting full responsibility if they’re asking this.
The simple truth of their infidelity and that being enough to destroy a marriage is not a truth they are willing to accept. It makes them look too bad. They prefer a softer “both sides” (false) narrative. Again, they are doubling down on a lie over the truth.
You do not owe it to them to join them in believing or supporting the lie.
Sometimes we just have to disagree. This is especially the case when faced with someone who is determined to believe lies over truth.
