And Pharaoh hardened his heart at this time also, neither would he let the people go.

-Exodus 8:32, KJV

Cheaters become cheaters by going down “The Road of Bad Choices.” They have hard hearts because they have chosen to harden their hearts just as Pharaoh did.

I make this point for two reasons:

1) I suspect many cheaters started off alright as spouses. Not all started a marriage as double-life-leading, adulterous traitors. They got there gradually.

2) The hardness of heart towards God and their spouse is chosen by them. They are fully responsible for this state of heart.

The marriage conditions did not make this happen. Poor performance on the part of the other spouse did not make this happen. Rather, the cheater’s hard heart is the natural outcome of the cheater continuously making bad and ungodly choices.

The outcome of our marriages was up in the air for many of us on our wedding day. It did not necessarily have to end in adulterous betrayal and divorce.

Even after making sinful and adulterous choices,

Cheaters could still have chosen to forsake “The Road of Bad Choices.”

But many did not.

They chose to harden their hearts. They chose the path of pride over the path of humility. They chose the sinful delight of the moment over the long-term joy of righteousness.

This sorry state of affairs is NOT on you, faithful spouse; rather, the responsibility falls fully on the chooser–i.e. the cheater.

*A version of this post ran previously.