There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, But the tongue of the wise brings healing.
-Proverbs 12:18, NASB
Cheaters are capable of all sorts of evil in the effort to cover their sins.
Pastors and other Christians need to become less naive on that matter. Cheaters are like addicts.
They prioritize feeding their addiction to illicit relationship(s) over the well-being of their partner and even children. In fact, they may take some direct steps to cause those loved ones great suffering on the road to fulfilling the cheater’s own desires.
It is sick.
But do not underestimate the capability of a cheater in the grips of their cheating “addiction.”
In another way, it isn’t an addiction. It is worse. With a true addiction, the person is generally powerless over the addiction.
Cheaters CHOOSE to cheat. This nastiness requires planning. That is why it is called EVIL!
Faithful spouses struggle in the healing process precisely BECAUSE they are shocked–at least, I was–that the person they married was capable of all those wicked things.
A woman married for her kindness drops a real shock-bomb when the husband discovers she has been cheating with another man all while ripping him in marriage therapy.
I bet I would get more than a few hands raised from readers who could relate to that experience either as the faithful husband or the faithful wife.
It is not uncommon, sadly.
And that is not even mentioning all the financial crazy things cheaters do. It is not mentioning the smear campaign waged against the faithful spouse to make the cheater look like the martyr.
I could go on but you get the picture…
Jesus said, “You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” John 8:44
My ex-husband was lying and cheating (emotional for sure, maybe physical) on me even before we were in engaged. His lying made my head spin at times and I felt crazy; I thought I was losing my mind. He’s the only person in my life that I ever felt this way with. He took his lying so far, launching a lied-filled smear campaign about me behind my back. I watched him lie to our children. I can only imagine how many lies he told about me and our marriage in order to justify divorcing me. Even better, my ex-pastor lied to me three times and one of the lies he told — he lied to help the lying adulterer.
And I’m supposed to believe my ex-husband is a Christian when he is capable of so much lying? Oh, but he goes to church each week. Holds his hands up in praise to God in worship now even though he NEVER DID THAT AT ALL WHILE WE WERE TOGETHER! I’m sure he tithes to keep the money rolling into that church and into the pastors paycheck.
And pastors wonder why people leave their churches and organized religion. And this isn’t against you, Divorce Minister. It’s against pastors and churches that “love” and snuggle up to people who do such evil and wicked things. And the person who was abused and was soul-raped? They have no choice but to walk away from wolf in sheeps clothing and the people who protect them.