“I don’t think I feel God has told me to take divorce off the table.”
– Cheater
Cheaters are awful.
They torture faithful spouses with glimpses of hope. Then they continue to lie and cheat leading the faithful spouse to believe the faithful spouse was why the marriage died.
It is one thing for a faithful spouse to keep divorce on the table for a cheater. And another thing altogether when a cheater does this to a faithful spouse who really wants to stay married.
Making a cheater aware of the “Divorce card” is a consequence of violating the marriage vows in this serious way. Divorce is on the table at any moment afterwards (see Matthew 19:9).
If a cheater wanted security in the marriage with divorce off the table, they should have thought about that before they lied and cheated on their spouse!
When cheaters toy with divorcing the faithful spouse, they are manipulating the faithful spouse. They are using the faithful spouse’s commitment to the marriage to try and induce them to behave in whatever manner the cheater deems worthy of keeping them in the marriage.
This is an awful place to be–a cheater’s play thing.
This is why having “deal-breakers” is so important. It is why being willing to divorce under certain dire circumstances is vital.
If you are unwilling to pull the plug on the marriage, then the cheater can manipulate you to their heart’s content. By saying divorce is always unacceptable, you are signalling that ANYTHING–including abuse–is.
Please, faithful spouse, do not allow the cheater to make you a play thing. Stand up for yourself and say, “No!” to abuse. Be willing to divorce an adulterous spouse!
