Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.

-Hebrews 13:4, NLT

While we are all capable of adultery (when married), a person who follows Christ recognizes such as sin immediately and repents of entertaining the idea if it enters their mind.

They do not create a “mind map” where they list it as an option or two. A person who is considering how to handle a relationship and lists affairs as options is a person who already is having an emotional affair.

They are more emotionally invested in an illicit relationship than repenting of crossing the line by even considering such sin.

A pastor who sees such thinking ought to point out this troubling fact. A heart given over to following God does not contemplate sin like this. They repent immediately as it comes to light as out of bounds for followers of God.

Sadly, not all pastors are willing to do this.

Coddling of sin leads to bad outcomes for all parties, though. A faithful spouse has every reason to be angry with their partner for such contemplation as such “mind mapping” is a declaration from the other partner that they have chosen not “to forsake the all others”… as if they are allowed to decide to take back their  marriage vows whenever they feel like it.