Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes,
And prudent in their own sight!-Isaiah 5:21, NKJV
The practice of some pastors is to treat adultery on the same level as failure to do one’s share of the household chores. They are not the same!
This leveling of offenses is called “sin-leveling” where someone treats all offenses as the same. Forgetting to take the laundry out of the dryer is not the same as conducting a clandestine affair for years, yet sin-levelers would treat them the same nevertheless.
Faithful spouses are already primed to take on more responsibility than is rightfully theirs. So, of course, we are likely to fall for this “leveling of sin” approach. We want to have a say over something we actually have no control (namely, our Cheater’s behavior).
That is why this is a particular evil.
The faithful spouse is treated as an equal partner in the problem created by a spouse committing adultery. This is ungodly. It is a lie and people pushing it–pastors included–are partnering with the Father of Lies.
The problem is not the inequitable chore list; the problem is one spouse is living a double life, lying, and cheating! They are engaging in infidelity abuse of their partner.
The “chore situation” is really irrelevant. It is a red herring that the abuser hopes you focus upon while they continue their abuse. Until you get a handle on the cheating, you do not have a godly marriage.
You have an abuse situation, and you are morally obligated to help the abused–i.e. the faithful spouse.
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*A version of this post ran previously.
