“C’mon, man, you MUST have known!” says Anxious Outsider.
“You HAD TO know he was cheating on you!”
-Anxious Outsider
“Come on, man! You must have known she was cheating on you!”
-Anxious Outsider
Outsiders might feel entitled to give their advice unsolicited. They might feel threatened by their vulnerability and trot out these “gems.”
My response to such madness:
“I don’t know what kind of marriage you have; however, I tend to give my spouse the benefit of the doubt that she will be faithful to me as she vowed before God. My blindness to this does not reflect poorly on me. It merely means my trust was abused.”
Trusting a spouse is not a fault. We SHOULD be able to trust our spouse to turn down the approaches of others trying to cheat with them.That is the whole “…forsaking all others…” part of those marriage vows that they made to us and God.
Trusting someone is not a flaw. It only becomes a flaw when we continue to trust someone after they have demonstrated they are not trustworthy.
As the saying goes:
“Fool me once. Shame on you. Fool me twice. Shame on me.”
A spouse ought not to assume their partner is cheating on them. However, they ought to believe the evidence when it comes in and learn from it. “Fool me twice. Shame on me.”
______________
*A version of this post ran previously
Appreciate the teachings on the blog? Check out my book:
