“We NEVER talk,” says Cheater.

The irony of this statement is the Cheater is saying it to the faithful spouse. It is self-refuting.

So, it is evidently not about talking. Then what is the Cheater after?

I think it is control.

They create this straw man argument of “not talking” to paint the picture as extreme:

How can you stay in a marriage when one party won’t talk?! (Never mind that they are not talking about their infidelity!)

Cheater wants control. They insist on agreement. It is not about mutual communication but about their domination of the faithful spouse.

When they do not get it, they play the victim. Their the ones dealing with an unreasonable spouse who simply “won’t EVER talk about x.”

It is what Cheaters do to avoid responsibility–namely, make the faithful spouse the bad guy (or gal). This is just one way they do so.