A danger for faithful spouses is focusing on the fantasy and not the reality of their situation.
A spouse who cheats is the opposite of what the faithful spouse signed up for on their wedding day. Obviously, the marriage could have gone a very different way.
I think it is wise to acknowledge this. Something precious was lost. The cheater shattered the dream.
It is fine to grieve this loss.
However, the wise person does not make decisions based on a fantasy. They accept the reality that it is shattered.
The options are awful. I know. I’ve been there. It is a Buffet of Bad Options at this point.