Today, I was at a training where grief was discussed.
The speaker brought up the example of a mother who lost a child. She mentioned how the milestones of her friends’ kids may elicit pain for that individual.
A light bulb went off in my head when she provided that example.
This is not unlike when I hear about people celebrating wedding anniversaries. This is true both for those married after my first wedding and for those counting sixty or more years together.
It is an odd feeling I have.
On one hand, I am happy for them. And on the other hand, those celebrations remind me that the longevity in marriage I could have had was stolen from me.
In other words, it elicits grief in me. I am made aware of my loss.
Nothing is wrong with you if you can relate with me in those feelings of grief. Like the mother who misses her child, we just miss what we lost. We valued our marriage.
There’s no shame in feeling sad over what was taken from us. It just means it mattered to us. And now it is gone.
Thank you for recognizing this type of grief DM. Being on the other side of over 3 decades of marriage, there are constant reminders of what was stolen, lost and gone forever. I try not to live in the past, but with infidelity, unlike death the closure doesn’t seem to completely come. I was reminded the other day (a day that was significant) as the day we met in church 34 yr ago. Before the divorce I noticed on “that” day he had removed his wedding ring, while we were in of all places church, When I asked him about it later he said, “GOD” had clearly told him to remove his ring that his marriage was over. NO HOPE. He did remember that it was a special day once upon a time ago and that he believed God was looking out for him and making it another day to remember . the.end! Grief changes who we are for sure. I believe God had to burn it all to the ground in my own life for me to move forward. HE never leaves us or forsakes us. AMEN.
Pretty sure the xh was not hearing Gods voice in church instructing him to take off the ring, 🙁