History merely repeats itself. It has all been done before. Nothing under the sun is truly new.
-Ecclesiastes 1:9, NLT
DARVO is a well-known psychological abuse tactic.
It stands for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim Offender. Here is an article that explains it (link here). The pattern describes a person who denies the sin, attacks the victim, and through that attack plays victim to the person trying to hold them accountable.
This behavior can be seen when a cheater is confronted:
He might deny the cheating. Then he might attack the faithful spouse for being a “snoop” and invading “his privacy.” At that point, he puts on the mantel of the victim of said snooping and privacy invasion. Some cheaters might be as bold as to demand an apology from the true victim.
As the writer of Ecclesiastes states, there is nothing really new under the sun. So, I share this for those who are unfamiliar with this pattern of abuse.
Maybe you recognize DARVO in operation in your situation?