Let’s dig into your message:

I have been following the social news from my country and one of the articles contains a screenshot of a Pastor and businessman, who has been in the public eye and who has presented himself as a family man committed to following God. In this particular post, he wishes his wife a happy 26th year anniversary and mentions their only daughter. The only daughter responds to the tweet and asks him to remove his post because if he loved his wife he would not cheat on her and asks the dad not to mention her name. In the comments, a lot of people bash the daughter, telling her she has no right to interfere in her parents’ issues, she is embarrassing her mother, she should honour her father and mother, she is exposing her father’s nakedness like Ham, she should not be so loud-what if her husband cheats on her too, these matters should be handled privately etc. 

Would these same have attacked the adult daughter if she had revealed her father physically beats his wife and her? I suspect their response would be very different.

To be clear, I am not saying he has done this. However, cheating is abuse. She is effected by this abuse as he clearly is trying to use her for good Public Relations. His daughter is fed up with being used and exposes the ruse. Good for her!

Personally, I think it is honoring to her mother to expose her father. It gives her mother the opportunity to get real support as opposed to suffering in silence as these people seem to prefer for her.

It is interesting the twist here about her being the shaming one when all she did was tell the truth. What is shameful is what her father did. These people criticizing her miss that point!

We are to expose the dark deeds to light as followers of Christ (see Ephesian 5:11). She did just that. However, some people prefer the darkness to light as Jesus taught us (see John 3:19-21).

You continue,

On the other hand, the father posts an ‘apology’ and steps down from his position in the Ministry. “Recently I allowed myself into a situation where I fell morally. I failed my wife and family, I failed the church that I am part of. I therefore seek your forgiveness. I’m stepping down to introspect and be restored. I covet your prayers and support.” The church has not issued a public statement- I am not a member so I do not know if they have reached out to their congregants.

This ‘apology’ is met by the support it is indeed intended to garner by fellow ‘Christians’ on twitter. He is lauded for ‘taking responsibility’ and being ‘accountable’ and they support him in this difficult time and unfortunate circumstances. I do not buy his fauxpology at all, but my biggest issue is the bashing of the daughter for exposing her father.

Only time will tell if this apology is sincere and real repentance is in evidence. It is a good  sign that he stepped down from ministry. However, I am not so sure about the line about restoration. Is he hoping this will blow over and get restored to the pulpit? That seems inappropriate considering the failure.

Plus, I wonder as well about the sincerity of the apology. He got caught and exposed. That is worse than having willingly exposed his sin and coming clean on his own first. Would he have taken these actions if he daughter had remained silent? God knows.

Another thing I notice is that he does not correct or rebuke those who attacked his daughter for exposing his sin publicly. He could have used this to teach them that people knowing what he did (because his daughter exposed it) is not worse than what he actually did!

Cheating affects everyone in the family unit, extended family and the community. Why should the daughter be silenced for speaking the truth? Her life is destroyed too, who gives a voice to what has happened to her? 

I agree. There is a reason the Bible treats it as a social problem, not a private problem (see Deut. 22:22). It affects more than the couple. I think this is especially true when the cheater is a pastor or a pastor’s wife.

Like I said before, I think the daughter had every right to speak the truth. Some people do not like the light or truth. This is particularly true when it comes to ugly truth. They prefer the comfort of warm darkness and are willing to leave those affected to suffer there in silence.

I am thankful this is not God’s heart on these matters. He condemns adultery and understands it impacts the whole community. In fact, God talks about the evil impacting all of Israel (see Deut 22:22)!

Thanks for writing into the blog, ForgivenChump! I hope some of these thoughts are helpful for you.

Warmest regards,

Pastor David (aka Divorce Minister)