He went on: “What comes out of a person is what defiles them. For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery….
-Mark 7:20-22a, NIV
Cheating does not “just happen.”
Even those cheating events that happen with alcohol involved are evidence of what is already in the heart. The substance just lowered their inhibitions to act on the sin in their hearts.
Plus, why were they in a situation where they were around attractive individuals and too much alcohol as a married person?! You see, many unwise choices were made before they even got to the drunken sins.
What is worse is those cheaters–who are many–who plan out months or years of cheating.
It is hard to come back from that. They did not “just” lie. Lying is they way of life for them to maintain such sick secrecy. This leads to a habit.
Habits–sin habits–die hard.
Plus, such planning to cover the double-life for months or years is calculated cruelty. The selfish Cheater knew what they were doing and made a plan to continue using the faithful spouse while keeping them deceived about their sinful behavior. That is awful and especially wicked!
Keep that in mind if you are thinking about “reconciliation.”
This person made sinful choices that flowed from their heart and developed into sinful habits. To have anything to work with demands much from the Cheater to unlearn a wicked habit or two.
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*A version of this post ran previously.
“The selfish Cheater knew what they were doing and made a plan to continue using the faithful spouse while keeping them deceived about their sinful behavior. That is awful and especially wicked!”
Yep, I can’t tell you the pain of being used for years to work in the community, then in politics to help a spouse get the opportunity he wanted, then as soon as he gets his Captains bars, I could fee the change and the beginning of him pushing me away. He was done with me, he had his, and he began the process of pushing me into poverty.
He unfortunately for him took himself with him, and he crashed and burned in just a couple years; but he didn’t know that when he did it. He I am sure, just assumed he would switch me out for the ho-worker and he would continue to soar.
But seeing that happen didn’t lesson the pain of knowing I was lied to and used for years. That pain sticks. It does not prevent you from having new joy, and a new life; but the scars will remain for most.