If you live without restraint and are unable to control your temper, you’re as helpless as a city with broken-down defenses, open to attack.

-Proverbs 25:28, TPT

Boy, this is a hard one to learn.

Cheaters seemed skilled at needling their partner just where they are the most vulnerable. It might be over their “manhood” or “womanhood.” They might go after them through the kids.

Cheaters know how to rile up their targets. Some, I believe, even enjoy it.

This Proverb is a good reminder to us, faithful spouses, not to take the bait. Yes, sometimes they will win and getting to us.

However, we need to keep the long-game in mind. They are doing this to control us like an enemy controls a city with no defensive walls.

To be clear:

The Proverb does not tell us that we ought not to be angry.

We can be angry. However, we are warned not to lose our temper or lose control of our anger.

Choose to use the anger to help you get free of your cheating abuser. Don’t use it to destroy your case to have the kids, for example.

Anger is not the problem.

Losing your temper because your Cheater figured out how to anger you is.

 

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*A version of this post ran previously.