A good tree produces good fruit, and a bad tree produces bad fruit.
…Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions.
-Matthew 7:17, 20, NLT
When talking about love, I would recommend to look at actions and not just words.
Cheaters will say all sorts of things to manipulate. Do not underestimate their ability and willingness to lie. Sometimes, they may actually believe the lies they are spewing forth.
But their “fruit” do not lie.
Look at actions:
Does a person who really love you continue to do abusive things to you? No.
Would a really loving person who was really remorseful push his affair underground once caught? No.
Do people who really care about you treat an adulterous betrayal as an inconvenience to them? No.
A person with integrity not only says things but also follows them up with reinforcing actions. If their actions are cruel, we know what kind of “tree” they are–a cruel, ungodly one.
Pay less time with the advertising “leaves” and more time seeing if there is any substantive good “fruit” present or only thorns and thistle.
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*A version of this post ran previously.