It isn’t my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your responsibility to judge those inside the church who are sinning.
-I Corinthians 5:12, NLT
Cheaters often try to commandeer Christianity to “justify” their abusive behavior.
Inexperienced, ignorant, and sometimes just plain arrogant Christian leaders often further the spiritual abuse faithful spouses experience from their respective cheater. They join the cheater in attacking the faithful spouse’s character, join in the gas-lighting, and participate in victim-blaming.
It is truly awful.
As an ordained minister, I am charged with preaching and teaching the Bible. I see this website as an extension of that charge. It is my way to live out my call into ministry to “feed my sheep” (see John 21:17b, NLT).
Sometimes such teaching might come across as judgmental.
Yet think about a few things here:
-What good is instruction in ethics that makes no assessment as to what behavior is moral or immoral?
-Can you be a person of high integrity or morality if you do not have a moral compass that calls somethings right and others wrong?
-Does someone who claims to live by the Bible have any integrity if he does not actually honor its words especially when it teaches something–like committing adultery–is always wrong?
A doctor does no one any good by refusing to call cancer, cancer. How judgmental of that doctor! He told her that she had cancer.
The same thing goes for good pastoral care practitioners.
Cheaters are pushing all sorts of junk morality and spirituality. They are trying to convince faithful spouse that the problem isn’t the marital infidelity but….
We need MORE “judgmental” pastors who exercise GOOD “judgment” as it comes to calling sin, sin, and offering hope for those willing to turn from those sins in repentance.
The road to healing for faithful spouses AND cheaters begins by proper judgment over the spiritual malady. How else can a proper remedy be found and applied if we are unwilling to diagnose what the sickness really is?!
Is Divorce Minister a judgmental ministry?
Yes, I exercise professional judgment here in order to bring healing to a community of people hurting from the destructive power of sins.* I am not ashamed to say I try to actually be faithful to the Bible’s guidance on these matters even when it seems “judgmental.”
It is always my hope here that both cheater and faithful spouse might find the words useful in discovering the life abundantly that Jesus promises all who follow him (see John 10:10).
*Reminder: The words here are my own personal opinions and judgments. They do NOT represent any institution to which I belong. I speak for myself.
