‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh.
-Matthew 19:5b-6a, NIV
Like animal who gnaws off a limb to escape from a trap and certain death, a faithful spouse leaves part of themselves behind when they divorce a cheater.
This is what we know from reading the Bible:
We become one in marriage. Breaking that oneness always means leaving part of our soul behind as marriage does not break neatly.
Anyone who has experienced divorce can attest to the veracity of this spiritual truth.
This partial soul amputation has lasting ramifications. We may go on to live very fulfilling lives following divorce (see here), yet such does not erase the reality that part of us was lost with the divorce.
People pushing divorcees to “just get over it” fail to recognize this deep spiritual truth regarding the loss.
Of course, we don’t ever really “get over it.”
Does an amputee ever “get over” losing a limb?
Are they in a place to pretend it never happened?
Or does the amputation forever impact their life going forward from that day?
The same idea applies to divorcees. We may live very functional and fulfilling lives following divorce. But we are forever changed by the experience of our divorce. Marked in our hearts.
That does that make us lesser than the non-divorced. It just means we have had to overcome more than a smug, always-married Christian. We cannot live as if we are safe from such a tragedy. It happened to us.
And we know it can happen to anyone.
“That does not make us lesser than the non-divorced. It just means we have had to overcome more than a smug, always-married Christian. We cannot live as if we are safe from such a tragedy. It happened to us. And we know it can happen to anyone.”
Wow! So true and perfectly stated. I was the smug always-married Christian. I didn’t think I was. I helped many a friend through their divorce, after all. But, I never thought it would be me.
For those that are struggling with a cheating spouse, remember that you deserve to be loved, cherished, pursued and RESPECTED. I promise you that living in a marriage that lacks trust is much worse than having to start over without the spouse you thought would cherish you forever. It’s a hard, long road, but you learn so much about yourself. I am a better mother, daughter, sister and friend for having gone through this. Don’t forget that God has everything under control. Trust in Him and rest in the knowledge that He is with you every step of the way. You are NEVER alone.
What does “God has everything under control”
Mean to you?
For me, the only way to trust in God’s sovereign control is to know Him. And, the only way to know Him is to know His Word. I may be uncertain of my future, but God is certainly not. I may not like or understand this path that I am on, but God has a perfect purpose for me. The more I grow and trust in Him, the more I know He has my back. He has it all under control.