“Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!”-Isaiah 43:18-19a, NIV
Sometimes ruminating on the past just inflicts more suffering. Not doing this is easier said than done, of course. And we do need space to tell our stories plus acknowledge what happened actually happened. That is vital to grieving and healing the deep wounds of marital infidelity.
That said, God gives us some wisdom here in Isaiah 43:
Sometimes it is best to “forget” the past or–in other words–refuse to let the past control and rob us of our future.
I think this is especially true about ruminating on wrongs or missteps we made. We need to trust that our sins and mistakes are covered by God’s blood and His love of us (e.g. Colossian 2:13-14). Then we need to leave those “bones” alone.
This is true about the accusations leveled at us as well. If you are like me at all, you keep digging and ruminating over them to decide if there is truth in them. In the end, it just beats up your soul. Even if they are partially false, they are still a lie. Satan speaks in half-truths after all. Leave those “bones” alone.
