“The affair has nothing to do with our marriage problems.”
-Lying Cheater
This is a very dangerous lie. Various people may say this. The cheater may say this, and sometimes, sadly, pastors or other counselors may say this. Sadly, they may even believe the lie.
The lie is dangerous, because it takes the focus off the most destructive behavior–namely, the adultery.
Clearly, we know this is a lie because God sees adultery as so problematic that He divorced Israel over it (see Jeremiah 3:8). Plus, God has such a problem with adultery that He names and prohibits it in the Ten Commandments!
What a cheater or counselor is doing is trying to take the focus off of the cheater’s behavior and avoid pressing the cheater to take responsibility for her active sins.
Instead, they would like to blame the abused party–namely, the faithful party. This is evil!
So, let’s translate this cheater-speak:
“The affair has nothing to do with our marriage problems.”
-Lying Cheater
Translation:
“I do not have any problems with cheating, and only my perspective on our marriage matters. Yours doesn’t. God’s doesn’t.”
A godly pastor ought to do his best to correct such spiritually dangerous thinking. And any pastor giving such advice ought to be struck with the fear of God. They are treading on some very dangerous grounds.
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*A version of this post ran previously.
