26 If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, 27 but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God.
-Hebrews 10:26-27, NIV
The other day I was listening to a podcast, and a point the speakers made about the deliberate nature of the sins in consideration struck me. This element is very much present when talking about cheaters.
One of the biggest problems and greatest challenges for cheaters to overcome is a lifestyle of lying and deception.
Yes, the illicit sex is sinful. Yet the lies and deceptions surrounding that illicit sex is what really dooms the marriage and the cheater spiritually per Hebrews 10:26-27.
Cheaters will pour out great effort to cover their sinful behavior by lying for months and–in some cases–years. They live a deliberate double life.
Christians and pastors can be naive to this reality. They may think the problem is “just” the affair. This would be to grossly miss the great depths of the spiritual problem.
Lies have gotten a hold of the cheater. They have learned that they can benefit themselves–at the expense of others–by deception. This is a lifestyle they must forsake. But few will.
The “mistake” language obscures this reality.
A wise pastor recognizes this. They do not buy the cultural narrative of how affairs are just one sex act.
The wise pastor recognizes a nexus of lies has to be undermined and exposed if the spiritual well-being of the cheater is to be addressed and the marriage is to have any hope of resurrection.
