“I protected YOUR reputation! So…”

“I protected YOUR reputation with our friends,” says Cheater. “So, I am asking you to do the same for me.” First, do not believe a proven liar, and Cheaters are proven liars. They are only saying this to control the narrative and protect their image. They assume here the faithful spouse will lie for their … Continue reading ““I protected YOUR reputation! So…””

The real choice

Even a faithful spouse “choosing” to divorce their cheater is really not the choice. They had chosen to be married for life to a person who left all others. However, that person decided to change things. They chose adultery. That just left bad options for the faithful spouse. The faithful spouse choosing divorce is a person … Continue reading “The real choice”

“Yeah, I know she cheated on you, but…”

“Yeah, I know she cheated on you, but you’ve got issues, too,” says false “friend.” You need to lose “friends” that respond in this sort of way to your infidelity trauma. They are not behaving as a friend. In fact, they are making things worse by equating your imperfections with a double-life of lies and … Continue reading ““Yeah, I know she cheated on you, but…””

I don’t get it.

I don’t get faithful spouses wanting to be friends with their Cheaters. Sure, there’s pressure to do this “for the kids” if kids are involved. Some may feel pressure from outsiders to do this to not burden them with the ugliness that is reality. It makes sense for Cheaters to want this–i.e. to be “friends.” … Continue reading “I don’t get it.”

Contrasting Lay Christian Counselors

Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisers bring success. -Proverbs 15:22, NLT I had contrasting experiences with two Christian couples who offered me counsel during and after my divorce. The first couple were a disaster for my marriage. They picked sides and pushed my Cheater towards divorce. The contempt towards me in those … Continue reading “Contrasting Lay Christian Counselors”

Souls are eternal, not marriages.

For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven. -Matthew 22:30, KJV This verse is very clear. Jesus tells us human marriage does not endure in heaven. Since this is true, spiritual counsel ought to take this into account. The priority ought to … Continue reading “Souls are eternal, not marriages.”

On “forsaking”

forsake verb: to renounce or turn away from entirely On “…forsaking all others….” When we make this vow at the altar, we are ACTIVELY committing and vowing to give up other partners. It is a commitment that is only beginning that day as it must be renewed each day by each spouse. A wise spouse recognizes … Continue reading “On “forsaking””