“How dare you insist I wear my wedding ring!” -Petulant Cheater A cheater may take off her ring in order to avoid the constant reminder of her marriage vows. This symbolic act speaks volumes. There is a reason we exchange rings in marriage ceremonies. The symbol is indicative of the vows exchanged between the couple … Continue reading “Cheater Tantrum Over Wearing Wedding Ring”
Author: Divorce Minister
Reject Divorce Shame!
Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away [i.e. divorce her] privily. -Matthew 1:19, KJV If you grew up in a church where divorce was taught as always wrong, you may find it hard to NOT internalize divorce shame and stigma. … Continue reading “Reject Divorce Shame!”
If they in-laws are saying…
Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery. -Hebrews 13:4, NLT If your in-laws are saying cheating behavior is normal, then that tells you a lot! Your Cheater was raised in this environment. It is what your Cheater … Continue reading “If they in-laws are saying…”
Spiritual Abuse: “Remember, stay teachable!”
Though the arrogant have smeared me with lies, I keep your precepts with all my heart. -Psalm 119:69, NIV “Remember, you need to stay teachable,” says arrogant authority figure. The irony of people using this charge is that they are often the least teachable persons in the room! They approach you as if they could learn … Continue reading “Spiritual Abuse: “Remember, stay teachable!””
Forgiveness as act of trust
Trusting God with our hurts is hard. Forgiveness is about doing just that, though. It is allowing God be God in our situation. But forgiving our cheater is nearly impossible if we believe we care more about justice than God. Justice matters to God. He did not just give sin a pass. It isn’t cheap … Continue reading “Forgiveness as act of trust”
The Deceptions!!!
Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. -Proverbs 27:6, KJV Cheaters deceive. That is what they do. Lies are their language. And that is what makes unwinding what happened so hard for their lies’ target, the faithful spouse. What was once thought real is revealed to have … Continue reading “The Deceptions!!!”
Not a legitimate way to bring up issues!
“I only cheated to get your attention,” says Cheater. Cheaters who say this are shifting blame onto their victims for their abusive sins. It is wicked. I could get your attention by shooting you in the foot. Saying I did this to get your attention does not excuse this behavior or make it acceptable in … Continue reading “Not a legitimate way to bring up issues!”
Church-y Analysis Sharing the Blame
Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes, And prudent in their own sight! -Isaiah 5:21, NKJV The practice of some pastors is to treat adultery on the same level as failure to do one’s share of the household chores. They are not the same! This leveling of offenses is called “sin-leveling” where someone treats … Continue reading “Church-y Analysis Sharing the Blame”
Oddly, MORE Qualified!
8 I gave Israel their letter of divorce. I sent them away because they were unfaithful to me so many times. -Jeremiah 3:8a, NIRV Oddly, MORE Qualified Than Less! I just want to point out how pastors who have experienced divorce from an unfaithful spouse may be MORE qualified rather than LESS. Besides the pastoral care … Continue reading “Oddly, MORE Qualified!”
Blind to divorce prejudice
If a man is found sleeping with another man’s wife, both the man who slept with her and the woman must die. You must purge the evil from Israel. -Deuteronomy 22:22, NIV “Adultery or fornication committed after a contract, being detected before marriage, gives just occasion to the innocent party to dissolve that contract. In the … Continue reading “Blind to divorce prejudice”