I gave faithless Israel her certificate of divorce and sent her away because of all her adulteries. -Jeremiah 3:8, NIV I am grateful for the merciful gift of divorce. The mercy is for the faithful spouse (see Mt 19:9). They are set free from the destructive path the cheater is hell-bent to follow to their ultimate spiritual … Continue reading “Merciful gift of divorce”
Author: Divorce Minister
Hard Holidays
Holidays can be hard! I just want to acknowledge that. This time of year can be difficult for those of us who are experiencing the traumatic ending of a marriage. They are seasons that bring the loses in focus. It is okay to be sad. It is okay to NOT be okay. Your feelings are … Continue reading “Hard Holidays”
Pining after Cheater-Ex?
So the Lord blessed Job in the second half of his life even more than in the beginning. -Job 42:12a, NLT Cheaters enjoy being the center of your attention. The best revenge is one where they are irrelevant to your life. You are too busy with the new life God has given you to even think of … Continue reading “Pining after Cheater-Ex?”
Forgiveness does NOT undo trauma!
No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was. -Job 2:13b, NIV Forgiveness does NOT erase the effects of trauma! You can both forgive and still be revolted by your cheating spouse. The two are not mutually exclusive. I am annoyed with pastors and churches pushing traumatized faithful spouses … Continue reading “Forgiveness does NOT undo trauma!”
He is right…
He is right that you do not control him… …BUT you do control whether you stay in relationship with him! This is one of life’s hardest lessons to learn: I only control me. It is especially hard to accept when we wish a loved one would behave differently. Cheaters are big on telling us that … Continue reading “He is right…”
Please do NOT date while still married
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven…. -Ecclesiastes 3:1, KJV So, you decided to divorce your cheater. However, you are still married. Please do not date during this limbo period. You will have plenty of time to do this after the divorce is finalized. This is a good … Continue reading “Please do NOT date while still married”
Holding it over their head forever?!
“I’m concerned that you will hold this [affair] over my head forever if I stay,” Cheater declares. A cheater who makes such a statement is still more concerned about themselves than the trauma they inflicted on their spouse by cheating. The statement really is revealing. Such a cheater still believes it is about their wishes … Continue reading “Holding it over their head forever?!”
Three Channels of Abuser TV
Years ago, Chump Lady ran a post about how abusers operate. It is a vulgar version of Abuser TV (see post here). I have found it extremely helpful in decoding behavior of abusers in general. This includes Cheaters as well as others like spiritual abusers. I find understanding the three channel cycle is helpful in … Continue reading “Three Channels of Abuser TV”
Defiled Temples of Carnal Christians
Because we have these promises, dear friends, let us cleanse ourselves from everything that can defile our body or spirit. And let us work toward complete holiness because we fear God. -2 Corinthians 6:1, NLT Cheaters defile the very temple that is their bodies by engaging in adulterous sin. We know this is the case … Continue reading “Defiled Temples of Carnal Christians”
The unknowns suck
Not knowing when the cheating started happening, sucks!!! Maybe you know a general time frame? However, Cheaters are generally silent when it comes to giving you the details you so desire to regain a sense of clarity about what was happening over the months or years. It sucks. This is another loss among many when … Continue reading “The unknowns suck”