But knowledge puffs up while love builds up. -I Corinthians 8:1b, NIV Knowledge is not a substitute for character. You can know all the things and still make poor choices. As a couple, you could have gone to all the wisest counselors and still ended up divorced after infidelity. Knowledge is not the same as … Continue reading “All the counseling in the world!”
Author: Divorce Minister
In the midst
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. 5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. -Psalm 23:4-5, KJV … Continue reading “In the midst”
Successful First “Cheated On Support Group”
In response to the call to create an in person support group for people dealing with infidelity abuse, I created the “Cheated On Support Group.” We ended one week early as we made it through the material I had hoped to cover in 12 weeks instead of needing 13 weeks. It was a small but … Continue reading “Successful First “Cheated On Support Group””
Sucked back into their chaos
Cheaters are “gifted” in sucking you back into their chaos. If you spent years allowing your Cheater to do what they wanted, it is hard to change that dynamic. It is difficult to stand up for oneself and hold to appropriate boundaries. They will test your boundaries. It is what they do. For example, you … Continue reading “Sucked back into their chaos”
End their centrality. Make them a footnote.
So the Lord blessed Job in the second half of his life even more than in the beginning. -Job 42:12a, NLT Faithful Spouses, we have a choice: Do we keep on allowing the cheater to be the central player in our life story or do we go out and take command of our story forging decisions … Continue reading “End their centrality. Make them a footnote.”
So Freaking Selfish!
An adulterous woman consumes a man, then wipes her mouth and says, “What’s wrong with that?” -Proverbs 30:20, NLT So FREAKING Selfish! Cheaters are so very self-centered and self-serving. Even after getting caught, they will continue make choices to sooth their own desires. It is symptomatic of their sick hearts. Sometimes, it is hard to … Continue reading “So Freaking Selfish!”
Biggest Marital Sin?
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV Which is the biggest marital sin that one can commit according to the Bible? Adultery. Cheaters–and sometimes, even well-meaning pastors–sometimes treat adultery as a side problem to marriage troubles. This … Continue reading “Biggest Marital Sin?”
Cheater-Speak: “I just needed a break.”
“I just needed a break from our marriage,” says Cheater. There is no “Pause” button on the marriage covenant. You are either honoring or dishonoring your covenant commitments. No “Pause” option. Living as if one is not married is the ultimate living a lie for a spouse. It is treating one’s spouse with contempt and … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I just needed a break.””
Always calculating THEIR deal!
No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money. -Matthew 6:24, NIV Always Calculating THEIR “Deal!” One dynamic with Cheaters is how they approach relationships. The marriage is simply … Continue reading “Always calculating THEIR deal!”
Cheater Criticisms
I remember believing once that I had to consider everyone’s critical words. The idea is that I had to weigh if any truth were in them. This included words from my Cheater and her apologists. It could be the vilest attack on my character and person, but I would need to sort through the words … Continue reading “Cheater Criticisms”