“Let her remove the adulterous look from her face and the unfaithfulness from between her breasts.” -Hosea 2:2b, NIV Ambiguity is a main reason faithful spouses remain longer than we should in doomed marriages. Cheaters thrive on ambiguity. This is the key idea behind why a cheater will confess to an emotional affair while continuing … Continue reading “Make Ambiguity the Cheater’s Enemy”
Author: Divorce Minister
My Mistake: A Very Reasonable Expectation
…the LORD is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. -Malachi 2:14b, NIV I made many mistakes in my first marriage. Certainly, I made mistakes in its dissolution process as well. Hence, this blog exists. … Continue reading “My Mistake: A Very Reasonable Expectation”
Cheater-Speak: “I didn’t tell you, because I thought you’d get angry.”
“I didn’t tell you, because I thought you’d get angry.” -Cheater Let’s start to unpack this “gem” of a cheater-speak: 1. The cheater is aware that what he or she did might be upsetting to the faithful spouse, yet still did it. This is another reason why I am in the camp that cheaters have full knowledge … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I didn’t tell you, because I thought you’d get angry.””
No more of THOSE arguments, thankfully!
Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.* -Proverbs 25:24, NIV One of the many gifts that came with my first marriage ending was the end of those arguments. I no longer had to argue over my reality with someone trying to deny it. Once I let go of … Continue reading “No more of THOSE arguments, thankfully!”
Twisted Traumatizing Texts
Then he brought Him to Jerusalem, set Him on the pinnacle of the temple, and said to Him, “If You are the Son of God, throw Yourself down from here. For it is written: ‘He shall give His angels charge over you, To keep you,’ and, ‘In their hands they shall bear you up, Lest … Continue reading “Twisted Traumatizing Texts”
Mailbag: Can he change?
Marjie wrote, I have been married for 26 years. 22 years ago I found out my husband was going to prostitutes, massage parlors ect. At the time we had 2 children in diapers. I was completely destroyed, but because of our kids I agreed to work it out. My husband isn’t an easy person, he … Continue reading “Mailbag: Can he change?”
The Arrogant, Long-Married Christian
Knowledge puffs up, but love edifies. And if anyone thinks that he knows anything, he knows nothing yet as he ought to know. -I Corinthians 8:1b-2, NKJV Just because a Christian has been married for a long time does not mean said Christian is equipped to properly advise a faithful spouse dealing with a cheater. … Continue reading “The Arrogant, Long-Married Christian”
“Stuff happens.”
Me: “I got divorced. Then I had to go through a trial with my denomination to keep my license.” Friend: “Don’t they realize that stuff happens.” I do not recommend the “stuff happens” response to someone whose marriage has been blown up by adultery. While I appreciate this friend’s effort to be understanding, this is … Continue reading ““Stuff happens.””
Da Tango Fiasco
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. -Ephesians 5:21, NIV My ex was into dancing and clubbing. She was far more extroverted than I was. Plus, having played football on a college campus for four years, I had my fill of booze-fueled socializing from my undergraduate days. It did not interest me then … Continue reading “Da Tango Fiasco”
Divorcing a Duggar?
Recent reports are suggesting that Anna Duggar has decided to divorce Josh Duggar. This is a couple who rose to fame through TLC’s reality TV program “19 Kids and Counting.” It was a show following Josh’s parents, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar plus their growing tribe. It is emblematic of a very conservative–some might say Fundamentalist–form … Continue reading “Divorcing a Duggar?”