Tenaciously holding on to truth

“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” -John 8:32, NIV Regardless of how we feel or what other people–including professionals–say, we did not “make” them cheat and thereby abuse us. This is an important truth to hold on to through this dark season. We are not responsible for another’s … Continue reading “Tenaciously holding on to truth”

Need accountability, not ego-strokes!

“This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV Cheaters do not need reminders of their special-ness. They do NOT need ego-strokes. They need reminders that they are accountable for their sinful behavior. A godly pastor will keep this in mind … Continue reading “Need accountability, not ego-strokes!”

Good and bad news regarding friends

  A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need. -Proverbs 17:17, NLT Good news and bad news about friends during times of marital distress: First, I will share the bad news: Some of the most painful betrayals will be friends and even family choosing the cheater over … Continue reading “Good and bad news regarding friends”

“…forsaking all others…” means no dating!

If you are still married, you ought not to date. This is an integrity issue. A vow is made to “forsake all others” and dating another while that vow is in effect legally is a violation of your word. Cheaters do this all the time. They make up “excuses” for why they are “allowed” to … Continue reading ““…forsaking all others…” means no dating!”

What went wrong?

“Could we meet up and discuss what went wrong between us?” asks Cheater. You would be forgiven if you thought this question was about understanding and information exchange. It is not. Cheaters know that they cheated. What they do not have is a way to offload their guilt effectively. THAT is the purpose of the … Continue reading “What went wrong?”

Growing Hope

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. -Hebrews 11:1, NIV Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love. -I Corinthians 13:13, NLT When going through the darkness, faith in God’s goodness is important. This faith is an act of … Continue reading “Growing Hope”

“Nothing to do with our marriage problems?” Really?!

“[Other Woman] has nothing to do with our marriage problems,” says caught Cheater. “Really? ‘NOTHING to do with our marriage problems?’” replies flabbergasted faithful spouse. Cheaters will try to hold onto the marriage narrative with an iron grip. That is what this exchange illustrates. They refuse to be seen as the “bad guy” in the … Continue reading ““Nothing to do with our marriage problems?” Really?!”