“I would forgive anything. I want us to stay married,” says desperate faithful spouse. “But you would always hold it over my head,” responds heartless Cheater. The more I think about this sort of response from a cheater, the more I am struck by its cruelty: The Cheater could care less about the cost of … Continue reading “Blind to the wreckage”
Author: Divorce Minister
Forgiveness or denial?
“For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed.” – John 3:20, NKJV Silence about infidelity is the same thing as avoiding the light. It says the person does not what his or her wicked deeds exposed. They have not truly embraced repentance and … Continue reading “Forgiveness or denial?”
The Physical
“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.” -I Corinthians 6:18, NIV Physical Affair vs Emotional Affair Both are cheating and awful for the faithful spouse. They both cause incredible damage to the to the point of destroying the very … Continue reading “The Physical”
Arrogance of (former) in-laws!
16 There are six things the Lord hates— no, seven things he detests: 17 haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that kill the innocent, 18 a heart that plots evil, feet that race to do wrong, 19 a false witness who pours out lies, a person who sows discord in a family. -Proverbs 6:16-19, NLT I wonder how many of us, … Continue reading “Arrogance of (former) in-laws!”
She would never…
She would never… …she would, and she did. Cheating was just not on the radar during my first marriage until it was. I just did not think my (now) ex would ever cheat on me. It was unthinkable initially. That is probably what made it easy for her to do so. I was blind to it for … Continue reading “She would never…”
Coming to acceptance of some hard stuff
Discovering your spouse was unfaithful is an earth-shaking experience! When this happened, the faithful spouse who can come to terms with reality will be able to navigate this awful experience with some safety and sanity. They will save themselves some unnecessary suffering, in other words. Here are some important things to come to terms with: … Continue reading “Coming to acceptance of some hard stuff”
Control, not conversation!
“We NEVER talk,” says Cheater. The irony of this statement is the Cheater is saying it to the faithful spouse. It is self-refuting. So, it is evidently not about talking. Then what is the Cheater after? I think it is control. They create this straw man argument of “not talking” to paint the picture as … Continue reading “Control, not conversation!”
Using cheating as manipulation
“I just was trying to get your attention [by cheating on you],” says Cheater. Whether they frame it as a “cry for help” or blame it as caused by the marriage conditions, the same mechanism is at work: The cheater is trying to use the cheating as a means to manipulate the faithful spouse to … Continue reading “Using cheating as manipulation”
Yeah, space is NOT for healing!
“I just need space to heal,” says Cheater on why she’s moving out of the martial home. Cheaters seeking space are NOT seeking space for “healing.” Your Cheater is seeking space to continue cheating without the complexity of having you around to kill their buzz. They might even believe the lie that they are telling … Continue reading “Yeah, space is NOT for healing!”
Addicted to the romantic attention
“This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV I am convinced some cheaters are just addicted to the sexual or romantic attention of others. They love the high of being pursued. This is why the typical Christian advice of pursuing … Continue reading “Addicted to the romantic attention”