Author: Divorce Minister

PSA: Christians, Stop Blaming Adultery Victims For Divorces!

 And I saw that for all the adulteries of faithless Israel, I had sent her away and given her a writ of divorce, yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear; but she went and was a harlot also. -Jeremiah 3:8, NASB Is God to be blamed for His divorce of Israel here in Jeremiah … Continue reading “PSA: Christians, Stop Blaming Adultery Victims For Divorces!”

Cheater-speak: “Let’s not talk about that. It is in the past.”

“It is in the past.” – Cheater But is “it” really in the past? The effects and consequences of the cheating are very much in the present. -A late night “at the office.” -Another “business” trip. -That song on the radio. -A strange charge on the credit card. -An unknown phone number calling your spouse’s cell. … Continue reading “Cheater-speak: “Let’s not talk about that. It is in the past.””

Mailbag: Feeling torn between divorce and staying for the kids

  I wonder if you could write on topic that deals with clash of emotions/feelings being a coward for allowing unfaithful partner back into our life without much consequences and at same time feeling like traitor to kids if choosing divorce instead. -Broken_Hurt Dear Broken_Hurt, It is not a betrayal of your children to act … Continue reading “Mailbag: Feeling torn between divorce and staying for the kids”

I knew, but didn’t…

Your eyes saw my unformed body;     all the days ordained for me were written in your book     before one of them came to be. -Psalm 139:16, NIV I start today’s post from this famous Psalm to make a point: Knowing is not the same thing as condoning or causing a behavior! God knew all of … Continue reading “I knew, but didn’t…”

Mailbag: This weekend I had a conversation with a Christian “friend”…

Michael wrote: This weekend I had a conversation with a Christian friend that really bothered me.  It’s days later and I’m still bothered, hurt by his comments.  Long story short, we got onto the topic of my divorce.  Normally, I avoid this topic with this specific person.  He is the one who told me about … Continue reading “Mailbag: This weekend I had a conversation with a Christian “friend”…”

“God hates divorce” is not enough, pastors!

Faithful Spouse: “My wife left and cheated on me.” Pastor: “Well, God hates divorce.” [Awkward silence] A minister whose only response to adultery and abandonment is to tell the faithful spouse “God hates divorce” is a minister who is not truly ready and equipped to provide godly, pastoral counsel. To use such a verse in … Continue reading ““God hates divorce” is not enough, pastors!”

Tell the kids!

Recently, I binge watched a new British crime drama on Netflix, Marcella. One of several story lines in this drama is between the main character, Marcella, and her husband. Marcella comes back to work around the time her husband leaves her, and she discovers his mistress who happens to be a young coworker and daughter … Continue reading “Tell the kids!”

Wedding Day Reminder–Only First Day Of Choosing “I Do”!

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. -Genesis 2:24, KJV Marrying someone is a choice. At least, it is a choice in the modern Western world where having the freedom to choose is a major legal basis of regarding the … Continue reading “Wedding Day Reminder–Only First Day Of Choosing “I Do”!”

Common (False) Narratives Need Correcting!

Church ought to be a place where adultery victims can come to find support and comfort. Sadly, it often is quite the opposite. It is hard to admit to another Christian that you have been cheated on, discarded, and divorced by your spouse. This difficulty arises because two deeply entrenched narratives too frequently follow that … Continue reading “Common (False) Narratives Need Correcting!”