“Do to others as you would have them do to you.” -Luke 6:31, NIV “I had an emotional affair. Should I tell my husband?” Sometimes my analytic software that tracks my traffic gives me phrases people use that lead them to this blog. A version of the above question was one a day or so … Continue reading ““I had an emotional affair. Should I tell my husband?””
Author: Divorce Minister
Pastor to Faithful Spouse
It is no longer a matter of speculation: Your spouse has admitted to cheating. Besides you have the evidence of this awful truth going back months–or even years–in your hands. The world has stopped, and you are in shock. You think, “This sort of thing happens to other people. Not us!” How might a pastor help … Continue reading “Pastor to Faithful Spouse”
Beware of Engaging the In-Laws!
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. -Ephesians 6:4, NIV I made an honest mistake when my marriage started to unravel: My mistake was to open and share my heart to the father of my (now) ex-wife. It was an honest mistake in that I … Continue reading “Beware of Engaging the In-Laws!”
“Sorry, I don’t have to agree with you.”
“Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not to his own facts.” -Daniel Patrick Moynihan, American Politician Cheaters often forget that faithful spouses do not owe them agreement with their marriage ending narrative. This reality does not stop cheaters from expecting and demanding such agreement, though. Cheaters are perfectly fine pressuring a faithful partner (or ex) … Continue reading ““Sorry, I don’t have to agree with you.””
“But you made it easy for her to cheat on you.”
“Sure, she had an affair. But you made it easy for her to cheat on you.” -A Stupid Thing Christians Say I have heard or read a version of this statement more than once. It seems like a common mindset some have–even pastors–towards faithful spouses. And this is a subtle blame-shift. For the ethics flunkies … Continue reading ““But you made it easy for her to cheat on you.””
Happy-Maker NOT!
***Marriage is not a happy-making contract!*** The seemingly accepted “wisdom” on dealing with infidelity–especially emotional affairs–is to look to the marriage relationship for what was “missing.” In other words, why was the cheater unhappy? Besides being predicated on a sociologically proven false premise–i.e. cheaters only cheat when they are unhappy in their marriages (see Dr. … Continue reading “Happy-Maker NOT!”
Flaky Forgiveness Trivializes Trauma!
They dress the wound of my people as though it were not serious. ‘Peace, peace,’ they say, when there is no peace. Jeremiah 6:14, NIV Unconditional forgiveness pushers are like the people mentioned here in Jeremiah 6:14 treating gaping wounds with boo-boo kisses. Either they do not know the first thing about dealing with the … Continue reading “Flaky Forgiveness Trivializes Trauma!”
Is God’s Forgiveness Unconditional?
Now when they heard this, they were pricked in their heart, and said unto Peter and to the rest of the apostles, “Men and brethren, what shall we do?” Then Peter said unto them, “Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye … Continue reading “Is God’s Forgiveness Unconditional?”
Cheater-speak: “I believe it was always a lie.”
“I’ve come to realization that our marriage has always been a lie.” – Cheater This sort of statement serves the cheater on multiple fronts: First, it allows him or her to cast themselves as the noble person who is choosing “authenticity” by ending the marriage. They are the “hero” bravely fighting off “inauthenticity” by exiting … Continue reading “Cheater-speak: “I believe it was always a lie.””
Divorce Minister Milestone: Quarter MILLION Views!
Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. -2 Corinthians 1:3-4, KJV 225,000 … Continue reading “Divorce Minister Milestone: Quarter MILLION Views!”