It still feels strange for me to even speak about how my first marriage ended. I feel internal pressure and accusation as if speaking the facts means I have not forgiven her or am bitter. That’s a lie, by the way. But it is a hard one to shake growing up amidst a Christian … Continue reading “Forgiveness Does Not Change Facts!”
Author: Divorce Minister
When it is not up to you…
“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing.” -Matthew 23:37, NIV An injustice faithful spouses experience when divorce is on the table is being blamed for … Continue reading “When it is not up to you…”
God loves adultery victims, too!
“Jesus is “‘the stone you builders rejected, which has become the cornerstone.’” -Acts 4:11, NIV God loves thieves. True. God loves rapists. True. God loves adulterers and adulteresses. True. But does God love their victims? Does God love the robbed? Does God love the raped? Does God love adultery victims? I know God does. He identifies as one … Continue reading “God loves adultery victims, too!”
Cheater Marriage History Brain-Blender
Telling lies about others is as harmful as hitting them with an ax, wounding them with a sword, or shooting them with a sharp arrow. -Proverbs 25:18, NLT One of the many things that baffles me about the accepted Christian “wisdom” on healing marriages ravaged by adultery is how often pastors and counselors seem to … Continue reading “Cheater Marriage History Brain-Blender”
“You are saying bad things about me!”
“You are saying bad things about me!” – Cheater My cheater was very upset when she discovered this blog. She was so upset that she hired a lawyer and attempted to shut it down (or at least, she attempted to shut down any conversation about her infidelity). Her claims via her lawyer were that it was libel … Continue reading ““You are saying bad things about me!””
Privileged To Be In Pastor’s Office And NOT Court Room!
This is what the Lord says: “Was your mother sent away because I divorced her? Did I sell you as slaves to my creditors? No, you were sold because of your sins. And your mother, too, was taken because of your sins. -Isaiah 50:1, NLT A major reason cheaters feel entitled to put faithful spouses … Continue reading “Privileged To Be In Pastor’s Office And NOT Court Room!”
Entitled and Arrogant!
Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God. Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy? But he giveth more grace. Wherefore … Continue reading “Entitled and Arrogant!”
Another Life…
See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. -Isaiah 43:19, NIV Four years ago yesterday, I started my journey into professional chaplaincy. It was the first day of my Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) experience. … Continue reading “Another Life…”
“Toxic Shame” Excuse
Rid yourselves of all the offenses you have committed, and get a new heart and a new spirit. Why will you die, people of Israel? For I take no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Sovereign Lord. Repent and live! -Ezekiel 18:31-32, NIV How does the “toxic shame” excuse work? It is actually … Continue reading ““Toxic Shame” Excuse”
Bitter? Naw. Blessed, I am.
When things go sour with some commentators here on Divorce Minister, the person is quick to pull out the “bitter card” or suggest I need more time to heal. The funny thing about that sort of ad hominem (“to the man”) fallacious assault is how crazy it is. They have only a partial picture of who I am … Continue reading “Bitter? Naw. Blessed, I am.”