I work in hospice and have the opportunity to watch the poignant beauty of marriages that have lasted well past fifty years. I say, “poignant” because I feel both awed by the sheer beauty of a couple still caring for each other after many decades together as well as sad by my own loss. Recently, … Continue reading “Dismembered”
Author: Divorce Minister
Top Three Texts Used To Abuse Faithful Spouses
Having started Divorce Minister: Taking Adultery Seriously just last summer, I have had the opportunity to read and hear a variety of faithful spouses’ horror stories with the church. Literally thousands of individuals visit this website monthly from over 110 unique countries around the globe. Themes are starting to emerge. The following are the top 3 most … Continue reading “Top Three Texts Used To Abuse Faithful Spouses”
On False Care And Concern
“Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite … Continue reading “On False Care And Concern”
What if the church treated widows like faithful divorced spouses?
Can you imagine church leaders (or simply other Christians) treating a widow/widower in the same way they treat a faithful spouse who is now divorced from the adulterous one? And before anyone cries “Foul!” on this analogy suggesting that its too strained, I will point out this is the state Old Testament spouses would find … Continue reading “What if the church treated widows like faithful divorced spouses?”
Anger Baiting
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. -Proverbs 29:11, NIV Anger Baiting… The other day this dynamic was brought to my attention in a discussion with Mommythree. It was after my post: “God Wants Passionate Pastors.” Our interaction got me thinking. I wonder how many of us, … Continue reading “Anger Baiting”
What’s To Gain?
You cover the Lord‘s altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. – Malachi 2:13b, ESV Some Christians may be naive enough to believe an adulterer or adulteress coming to a pastor’s (or Christian counselor’s) office means he or she is truly … Continue reading “What’s To Gain?”
God Wants Passionate Pastors
Then the Lord said to Moses, “Phinehas (son of Eleazar and grandson of Aaron the priest) has turned away my anger for he was angry with my anger, and would not tolerate the worship of any God but me. So I have stopped destroying all Israel as I had intended.” -Numbers 25:10-11, TLB Anger is … Continue reading “God Wants Passionate Pastors”
Don’t Build A “Smiting Shelter”
Jonah had gone out and sat down at a place east of the city. There he made himself a shelter, sat in its shade and waited to see what would happen to the city. – Jonah 4:5, NIV And so, Jonah built himself a shelter to watch God, hopefully, smite the Ninevites. He made a … Continue reading “Don’t Build A “Smiting Shelter””
Evangelical Divorce Blame-Game
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord… Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…. -Ephesians 5:22,25, NIV I’m going to be transparent here: This passage from Ephesians 5 bothers me. It does not bother me that it is in the Bible. I thank God … Continue reading “Evangelical Divorce Blame-Game”
Helping A Shattered Spouse
A Christian brother comes over one night. He crumples onto your couch tears overflowing. Through his heaving sobs, you learn his wife has left him and is having sex with another man. The hollow and desperate look in his eyes tears at your heart. What can you do? I will start with the negative first. These dangerous responses … Continue reading “Helping A Shattered Spouse”