Jonah had gone out and sat down at a place east of the city. There he made himself a shelter, sat in its shade and waited to see what would happen to the city. – Jonah 4:5, NIV And so, Jonah built himself a shelter to watch God, hopefully, smite the Ninevites. He made a … Continue reading “Don’t Build A “Smiting Shelter””
Author: Divorce Minister
Evangelical Divorce Blame-Game
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord… Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…. -Ephesians 5:22,25, NIV I’m going to be transparent here: This passage from Ephesians 5 bothers me. It does not bother me that it is in the Bible. I thank God … Continue reading “Evangelical Divorce Blame-Game”
Helping A Shattered Spouse
A Christian brother comes over one night. He crumples onto your couch tears overflowing. Through his heaving sobs, you learn his wife has left him and is having sex with another man. The hollow and desperate look in his eyes tears at your heart. What can you do? I will start with the negative first. These dangerous responses … Continue reading “Helping A Shattered Spouse”
Mailbag: I am cheating with a married man who is my pastor. [UPDATED]
SB wrote in a comment, I am cheating with a married man who is my pastor. I am a wrenched woman, I know I am wrong and am in sin. After reading several of your blogs, I need your help to end the affair the Godly way. I am not afraid of the consequences because … Continue reading “Mailbag: I am cheating with a married man who is my pastor. [UPDATED]”
Exercise, Exercise, Exercise
WE ARE EMBODIED CREATURES We are all individuals. As such, we all respond to stress differently. I remember losing ten pounds in two weeks after discovering the damning evidence of my (then) spouse’s sexual union with another man. It was shocking to say the least. And I lost my appetite to put it mildly. Self … Continue reading “Exercise, Exercise, Exercise”
The Happiness Narrative
I ran across an article on huffingtonpost.com published yesterday by an admitted adulteress. At least, she admits to cheating on her-then-husband. Here’s the link to the article: My Husband Learned The Hard Way Why Women Cheat | YourTango. Marina Pearson, the author, actually has some good points in what she writes. I agree with her statement about her … Continue reading “The Happiness Narrative”
Performance Spells D-E-A-T-H To Marriage
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. – I John 4:18, ESV This past weekend I was at a married men’s retreat with men from my home church. At such an event, I sometimes … Continue reading “Performance Spells D-E-A-T-H To Marriage”
Adultery Helps Marriages Is An Old Lie
And why not do evil that good may come?—as some people slanderously charge us with saying. Their condemnation is just. – Romans 3:8, ESV If you are at all like me, this seems like a strange argument for the Apostle Paul to be addressing in his letter to the Romans. However, my eyes were open … Continue reading “Adultery Helps Marriages Is An Old Lie”
Who To Tell Your Struggle
Brene Brown has some excellent resources on dealing with shame. She is not approaching this subject as a Christian pastor per se. She is a researcher. But she has some excellent insights that I found personally helpful. Three of her books, I highly recommend. The Gifts of Imperfection, I Thought It Was Just Me (but it … Continue reading “Who To Tell Your Struggle”
Must Be Therapeutic For Him…
While this is not directed at anyone in particular (I have heard these comments from several quarters), I wanted to make a statement, again, as to why I am blogging. I am responding to those who suggest I am doing this for my own therapeutic gain. This is a misunderstanding of my purpose. To be … Continue reading “Must Be Therapeutic For Him…”