These last few days I have heard/read stories about Christian counselors who have failed to directly addressed adultery. They have avoided the awkward conversation insisting upon full disclosure or full commitment to rebuilding the marriage from the adulterous spouse. And these individuals have cited various reasons for this. This angers me! I know how it … Continue reading “Please, Faithful Spouses, Find A Christian Advisor With A Backbone!”
Author: Divorce Minister
So What If They Do Not Come Back?
Jesus said to him, “If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” When the young man heard this he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions. -Mt 19:21-22, ESV Jesus was not afraid to give people … Continue reading “So What If They Do Not Come Back?”
I am NOT FOR the marriage
When Joshua was by Jericho, he lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, a man was standing before him with his drawn sword in his hand. And Joshua went to him and said to him, “Are you for us, or for our adversaries?” And he said, “No; but I am the commander of the … Continue reading “I am NOT FOR the marriage”
Football, Film, And Responsibility
DM as #60 (2004) The day I donned a football helmet and put on shoulder pads are now over a decade ago. In many ways, it feels like a lifetime ago. However, those years playing football (13 years) taught me some very important lessons. One of those lessons had to deal with personal responsibility. In … Continue reading “Football, Film, And Responsibility”
Too Much Advice!
Counsel Bombardment An aspect of my journey towards healing following adultery discovery and divorce was dealing with all the counsel I received. If anything, I was far too open to people’s advice in the early stages of my marriages disintegration. Part of this was a reflection of my passivity where I was not owning my … Continue reading “Too Much Advice!”
Hanging Over Their Heads Forever?
“Even if she cheats on me, I will forgive her and take her back,” Desperate Husband said. “Well, that’s no marriage. You would just hold that over her head forever,” said Mr. Worldly-Minded. This is a real exchange that I had with someone prior to discovering the irrefutable evidence of my former spouse’s adultery. I … Continue reading “Hanging Over Their Heads Forever?”
Lessons From His Scars
But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop … Continue reading “Lessons From His Scars”
Choices Were Made!
In the effort to avoid the fearful acknowledgement of vulnerability, I suspect many ascribe to the Shared Responsibility Lie. They foolishly believe it is possible to drive someone to commit adultery. It is important to maintain this belief because without it entrenched, then one is faced with the frightening reality that every marriage is … Continue reading “Choices Were Made!”
Advice To Other Pastors–Don’t Muddy the Water!
The one who sins is the one who will die. The child will not share the guilt of the parent, nor will the parent share the guilt of the child. The righteousness of the righteous will be credited to them, and the wickedness of the wicked will be charged against them. -Ezekiel 18:20, NIV So … Continue reading “Advice To Other Pastors–Don’t Muddy the Water!”
We can still be friends, right? Wrong.
“You are my friends if you do what I command.” -Jesus speaking in John 15:14, NIV Friendship is a selective relationship. It is a relationship built on trust and mutual admiration. Not everyone I know is my friend. They need to pass the cut. As we read from this quoted Scripture, Jesus did not call … Continue reading “We can still be friends, right? Wrong.”