Adultery is not a symptom but the disease. It is sin. Adultery is not a cry for help. Adultery is not a symptom of a bad relationship. Adultery is not a mercy blow to a miserable marriage (as if the adulterer is “taking one for the team.”) No, no, no, NO! Adultery is sin. Period. … Continue reading “Adultery Is NOT A Symptom But A Sin”
Author: Divorce Minister
Angry And Controlling Accusations
Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. -Romans 12:15, ESV Today, I am writing about the accusations concerning being angry and/or controlling. I suspect these twin accusations are not unfamiliar to those who have either found themselves cheated upon or abandoned by their spouse. Personally, I became well acquainted with both during … Continue reading “Angry And Controlling Accusations”
Not Responsible For Spouse’s Adultery
Parents are not to be put to death for their children, nor children put to death for their parents; each will die for their own sin. -Deuteronomy 24:16, NIV Today, I quote some basic justice principles laid out in the Old Testament. It is actually rather clear; however, the dynamics around infidelity often put both survivor … Continue reading “Not Responsible For Spouse’s Adultery”
The Paradox Of The Open Hand
“Whoever tries to keep his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it.” -Luke 17:33, NIV I write today about a paradox in Christianity that concerns holding God’s gifts with open hands. When we grasp at things–even good things–it does not end well. This is true unless we are grasping at … Continue reading “The Paradox Of The Open Hand”
Dealing With Friends Post-Adultery And Divorce
One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. -Proverbs 18:24, NIV Today, I am writing a post about what I learned concerning friendships following my ex’s adultery and my divorce. These are lessons I learned from my personal experience, and I speak from … Continue reading “Dealing With Friends Post-Adultery And Divorce”
Lessons Learned After My Divorce
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. -Romans 8:28, NIV Today, I wanted to post about some important lessons I learned as an adultery and divorce survivor. These are just my personal thoughts–not counseling or really even pastoral reflections for the … Continue reading “Lessons Learned After My Divorce”
Fellowship of Suffering
I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead. – Philippians 3:10-11, NIV Nothing like a deep trial to sort out true friends from fair-weather fans. And nothing like shared suffering to solidify bonds as … Continue reading “Fellowship of Suffering”
Blame-shifting From Eden
He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done?” … Continue reading “Blame-shifting From Eden”
PSA: Concerning Marriage Therapists
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT (PSA): While I recommend finding a good therapist while going through the trauma of adultery (and/or divorce), not every marriage therapist is equal. I can tell you that just because it says LMFT after the therapist’s name (License Marriage and Family Therapist) does not mean they are trustworthy. Even after admittedly cheating … Continue reading “PSA: Concerning Marriage Therapists”
Shared Responsibility Lie
29 “This is the ritual law for dealing with suspicion. If a woman goes astray and defiles herself while under her husband’s authority, 30 or if a man becomes jealous and is suspicious that his wife has been unfaithful, the husband must present his wife before the Lord, and the priest will apply this entire ritual law to her. 31 The … Continue reading “Shared Responsibility Lie”