Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. -I Corinthians 6:18, NIV Adultery is self-destructive sin. It is not life-giving. It is not joy-producing. It is not (ultimately) fulfilling. God condemns this behavior for how destructive it is. He made us … Continue reading “Self Destruction”
Author: Divorce Minister
Kind no more
Your kindness will reward you, but your cruelty will destroy you. -Proverbs 11:17, NLT In the end, I remember a hardness of heart seemed to have come over my Cheater. Her best trait–kindness–was no longer evident to me. I think actions and choices can transform a person. We reject God’s invitations to righteousness enough, God … Continue reading “Kind no more”
PSA: Not everyone is reasonable!
Public Service Announcement (PSA): Not everyone will be reasonable! “Now think it over and see what you can do, because disaster is hanging over our master and his whole household. He is such a wicked man that no one can talk to him.” -Servant to Abigail, I Samuel 25:17, NIV This verse comes from … Continue reading “PSA: Not everyone is reasonable!”
Gonna go with that?!
“I was going to tell you, but I thought you’d get angry,” says Cheater. “You’re really going to blame me for your cheating and lying?” asks Faithful Spouse. Really, gonna go with that?! The sad thing is that we–faithful spouses–often let Cheaters off the hook. Of course, you cannot get angry or then you confirm … Continue reading “Gonna go with that?!”
Another Podcast Resource: “Therapy and Theology”
Recently, someone alerted me to an excellent podcast on infidelity discovery and betrayal trauma in general. It is Lysa TerKeurst’s podcast. Her podcast is “Therapy and Theology” and this particular season is Season 7 as they tackle to topic of betrayal. I listened to the first episode entitled “I’m Afraid I’m Being Betrayed” and found … Continue reading “Another Podcast Resource: “Therapy and Theology””
Temptation to write off all…
When the infidelity betrayal is fresh, a temptation exists to write off an entire gender. I think this is very common for faithful spouses. I think it is part of the grief process. We feel vulnerable and betrayed. The trauma of it all makes us want to avoid putting ourselves in a place where … Continue reading “Temptation to write off all…”
Haughty Eyes and Lectures
There are six things the Lord hates— no, seven things he detests: haughty eyes, a lying tongue…. -Proverbs 6:16-17a, NLT One thing that is astounding looking back is how unaware of their arrogance Cheaters and their supporters were. They will lecture the adultery victim about being a “good Christian” while cheating or supporting the Cheater. With absolutely … Continue reading “Haughty Eyes and Lectures”
Deny them that power!
If you live without restraint and are unable to control your temper, you’re as helpless as a city with broken-down defenses, open to attack. -Proverbs 25:28, TPT Boy, this is a hard one to learn. Cheaters seemed skilled at needling their partner just where they are the most vulnerable. It might be over their “manhood” … Continue reading “Deny them that power!”
Anger leftovers
“Anger has something to tell us; it’s sometimes the gift that alerts us of wrong in the world.” -Susannah Griffith in Forgiveness After Trauma: A Path to Find Healing and Empowerment, Brazos Press, Grand Rapids, MI, 2024 (pp 71). I am currently reading this book on the topic of forgiveness and trauma. Thus far, it is … Continue reading “Anger leftovers”
Pure Escapism!
Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? -Proverbs 6:27, NIV Pure Escapism I think it is important for faithful spouses to remember that their Cheater is indulging in fantasy. Their illicit relationship is not based in substance and therefore is doomed from the start. It is escapism. Instead of … Continue reading “Pure Escapism!”