The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” -Genesis 3:12, NIV I’m convinced some–if not most–Cheaters were ticking time bombs. They had something in the deep past that they eventually attempted to “resolve” by cheating. The faithful spouse just happens to be … Continue reading “Misdirected Rage”
Author: Divorce Minister
Important to have validation
Reality validation. This is gift others can give to a faithful spouse. Sometimes we need someone to tell us the simple but hard truth. The adultery happened. And–no–we are in no way responsible for the infidelity. It was wrong. No justification for the cheater cheating exists. I think these messages are especially important for the … Continue reading “Important to have validation”
Shake off your Cheater’s dust!
“But if any place refuses to welcome you or listen to you, shake its dust from your feet as you leave to show that you have abandoned those people to their fate.” -Mark 6:11, NLT At some point, we need to let go of the need for an apology and reparations for the wrongs we … Continue reading “Shake off your Cheater’s dust!”
Soul care?
“I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd sacrifices his life for the sheep. “ -John 10:11, NLT Holding onto to the belief in God’s goodness is a real fete of soul strength during the time of infidelity discovery and divorce. I know it is not easy. It is a real test of one’s … Continue reading “Soul care?”
Tenaciously holding on to truth
“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” -John 8:32, NIV Regardless of how we feel or what other people–including professionals–say, we did not “make” them cheat and thereby abuse us. This is an important truth to hold on to through this dark season. We are not responsible for another’s … Continue reading “Tenaciously holding on to truth”
Need accountability, not ego-strokes!
“This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV Cheaters do not need reminders of their special-ness. They do NOT need ego-strokes. They need reminders that they are accountable for their sinful behavior. A godly pastor will keep this in mind … Continue reading “Need accountability, not ego-strokes!”
Good and bad news regarding friends
A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need. -Proverbs 17:17, NLT Good news and bad news about friends during times of marital distress: First, I will share the bad news: Some of the most painful betrayals will be friends and even family choosing the cheater over … Continue reading “Good and bad news regarding friends”
“…forsaking all others…” means no dating!
If you are still married, you ought not to date. This is an integrity issue. A vow is made to “forsake all others” and dating another while that vow is in effect legally is a violation of your word. Cheaters do this all the time. They make up “excuses” for why they are “allowed” to … Continue reading ““…forsaking all others…” means no dating!”
Grateful for our animals
My silly cat, Mr. Pickles, got me through my divorce. I will always be thankful for this furry buddy. He would meet me at the door when I got home, and would roll over for a tummy rub, which would end with him attacking my foot as I rubbed his belly. At night, he would … Continue reading “Grateful for our animals”
What went wrong?
“Could we meet up and discuss what went wrong between us?” asks Cheater. You would be forgiven if you thought this question was about understanding and information exchange. It is not. Cheaters know that they cheated. What they do not have is a way to offload their guilt effectively. THAT is the purpose of the … Continue reading “What went wrong?”