It’s okay to miss them. I think of all the losses that come with dealing with infidelity. You lose more relationships than just your relationship with the Cheater. The family and friends loss are big losses as well. Now, I understand that many of these people reveal themselves to not be true friends. Yet, many … Continue reading “It’s ok to miss them.”
Cheater-Speak: “What happened?”
“What happened to us?” asks Cheater. “You cheated, and so, we divorced. It’s pretty simple,” says Faithful Spouse. Cheaters asking this question are not asking for information. They are attempting to shift blame onto you, faithful spouse. Your current marriage ending narrative makes them look bad; so, they are attempting to manipulate you into accepting … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “What happened?””
Grief and 9-11
My tears have been my meat day and night, while they continually say unto me, Where is thy God? -Psalm 42:3, KJV Today is September 11th. I will never forget what happened twenty-three years ago on this day while I was a freshman in college. The world changed that day. Two towers were taken down. … Continue reading “Grief and 9-11”
Yes, emotional affairs are FULLY the Cheater’s fault!
For we must all stand before Christ to be judged. We will each receive whatever we deserve for the good or evil we have done in this earthly body. -2 Corinthians 5:10, NLT Yes, Cheaters are fully responsible for an emotional affair. It is not the result of a wily affair partner. It is not … Continue reading “Yes, emotional affairs are FULLY the Cheater’s fault!”
The Problem is not a problem to them.
When Cheaters go to pastoral counseling with their victims, they may have no interest in actually dealing with The Problem. They have successfully convinced themselves that the cheating was caused by circumstances outside of themselves. Cheaters might even blame their spouse for the cheating (see “The Shared Responsibility Lie“). These sessions are doomed. The cheating … Continue reading “The Problem is not a problem to them.”
Reminder: Cheated On Support Group starts TOMORROW (Monday)!
This is just a reminder that the “Cheated On – Infidelity Abuse Support Group” starts tomorrow, Monday, September 9th. Details below. Who: Cheated On individuals–i.e. faithful spouses–seeking support from people with similar experiences. What: I will be providing teachings at these group from my perspective both as a survivor of marital infidelity and as a … Continue reading “Reminder: Cheated On Support Group starts TOMORROW (Monday)!”
Monday, September 9th – Cheated On Support Group STARTS!
Who: Cheated On individuals–i.e. faithful spouses–seeking support from people with similar experiences. What: I will be providing teachings at these group from my perspective both as a survivor of marital infidelity and as a pastor. The group will discuss and support one another. When: Mondays from 6 to 8 pm starting Monday, September 9th Where: … Continue reading “Monday, September 9th – Cheated On Support Group STARTS!”
Disturbing Dream
This morning I awoke from an unusual dream for me. In my dream, I saw my ex and her family. This triggered panic in my heart–i.e. my fight or flight response. Now, I haven’t seen these people for over a decade. Yet the mere invoking of their image in a dream STILL has the power … Continue reading “Disturbing Dream”
Saying does not make it so.
“I’m being faithful to God,” says Cheater. “It sounds like you believe that [which is a complete lie],” replies Faithful Spouse. Saying does not make it so! Cheaters say all sorts of things. You could have them dead to rights, and they will bust out this gem (see above). To them, their lies need not … Continue reading “Saying does not make it so.”
NOT about the other–faithful–spouse!
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV The affair is never about the other–i.e. faithful–spouse. I know this is a controversial thing to write. But it is true from a pastor’s perspective. We know this truth from … Continue reading “NOT about the other–faithful–spouse!”