Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV The affair is never about the other–i.e. faithful–spouse. I know this is a controversial thing to write. But it is true from a pastor’s perspective. We know this truth from … Continue reading “NOT about the other–faithful–spouse!”
Stop reading the tea leaves!
Stop reading the tea leaves! I was guilty of this. Every small signal of kindness or basic civility I took to mean that my marriage might survive. It was a lie, though. I was deceiving myself. This is where having good friends is key. These friends can speak the hard but necessary truth about your … Continue reading “Stop reading the tea leaves!”
Give up trying to control
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: 24 And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. -Psalm 139:23-24, KJV A natural temptation is to focus on controlling or directing the cheater’s behavior. Please do your best to resist this temptation! … Continue reading “Give up trying to control”
God’s anger and love
But in my distress I cried out to the Lord; yes, I prayed to my God for help. He heard me from his sanctuary; my cry to him reached his ears. Then the earth quaked and trembled. The foundations of the mountains shook; they quaked because of his anger. -Psalm 18:6-7, NLT Without anger, I do … Continue reading “God’s anger and love”
What does it profit…
36 For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? 37 Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? -Mark 8:36-37, KJV But they are so successful and behave as if nothing happened! They’re off living this luxurious life while I am struggling to … Continue reading “What does it profit…”
Cheater-Speak: “How did you find out?”
“How did you find out?” says incredulous, busted Cheater (“Shoot! He DID find out. I gotta figure out how to shut down that channel of information!”) When a cheater gets busted and their first impulse is to learn how you discovered them, you know that cheater is the opposite of repentant. Such is pride speaking–namely, … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “How did you find out?””
No reasoning with them
When Cheaters have decided to discard you, there is no reasoning with them. They have already closed their minds. To them, you are this evil person that they are “entitled” to cheat on and discard. Facts to the contrary will not be entertained. They are totally given over to the lies in their hearts. You … Continue reading “No reasoning with them”
Really Worshiping Mammon
No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon. -Matthew 6:24, KJV “No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you … Continue reading “Really Worshiping Mammon”
Why an infidelity abuse support group? Cheated On Support Group Starts 9-9-24!
Why create an infidelity abuse survivor support group? When I went through my experience of divorce from my Cheater, nothing like this existed. The closest is a national Christian ministry for divorce situations in general. That syndicated ministry was helpful because of the excellent local leaders. Yet it was not exactly what I needed. Unique … Continue reading “Why an infidelity abuse support group? Cheated On Support Group Starts 9-9-24!”
Like Another Life
Today, I saw a short video highlighting tourist traps across the United States with old European themes. One of the locations was where I honeymooned with my ex-wife. It was a strange experience. I recognized the pictures and memories came back from that time. However, it was like I was observing another person. The grief … Continue reading “Like Another Life”