Though the arrogant have smeared me with lies, I keep your precepts with all my heart. -Psalm 119:69, NIV “Remember, you need to stay teachable,” says arrogant authority figure. The irony of people using this charge is that they are often the least teachable persons in the room! They approach you as if they could learn … Continue reading “Spiritual Abuse: “Remember, stay teachable!””
Forgiveness as act of trust
Trusting God with our hurts is hard. Forgiveness is about doing just that, though. It is allowing God be God in our situation. But forgiving our cheater is nearly impossible if we believe we care more about justice than God. Justice matters to God. He did not just give sin a pass. It isn’t cheap … Continue reading “Forgiveness as act of trust”
The Deceptions!!!
Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. -Proverbs 27:6, KJV Cheaters deceive. That is what they do. Lies are their language. And that is what makes unwinding what happened so hard for their lies’ target, the faithful spouse. What was once thought real is revealed to have … Continue reading “The Deceptions!!!”
Not a legitimate way to bring up issues!
“I only cheated to get your attention,” says Cheater. Cheaters who say this are shifting blame onto their victims for their abusive sins. It is wicked. I could get your attention by shooting you in the foot. Saying I did this to get your attention does not excuse this behavior or make it acceptable in … Continue reading “Not a legitimate way to bring up issues!”
Church-y Analysis Sharing the Blame
Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes, And prudent in their own sight! -Isaiah 5:21, NKJV The practice of some pastors is to treat adultery on the same level as failure to do one’s share of the household chores. They are not the same! This leveling of offenses is called “sin-leveling” where someone treats … Continue reading “Church-y Analysis Sharing the Blame”
Oddly, MORE Qualified!
8 I gave Israel their letter of divorce. I sent them away because they were unfaithful to me so many times. -Jeremiah 3:8a, NIRV Oddly, MORE Qualified Than Less! I just want to point out how pastors who have experienced divorce from an unfaithful spouse may be MORE qualified rather than LESS. Besides the pastoral care … Continue reading “Oddly, MORE Qualified!”
Blind to divorce prejudice
If a man is found sleeping with another man’s wife, both the man who slept with her and the woman must die. You must purge the evil from Israel. -Deuteronomy 22:22, NIV “Adultery or fornication committed after a contract, being detected before marriage, gives just occasion to the innocent party to dissolve that contract. In the … Continue reading “Blind to divorce prejudice”
Called to ministry of reconciliation. To Cheaters, too?
All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation…. – 2 Corinthians 5:18, NIV Do we not all have the ministry of reconciliation as followers of Christ? Does that include reconciling with Cheaters? The obvious answer to the first question is “Yes, we are called … Continue reading “Called to ministry of reconciliation. To Cheaters, too?”
Going to spiritual war with prayers
The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe. -Proverbs 29:25, KJV Evicting the voices and judgments of others in our heads is a hard thing to do. This is doubly so when the person who spoke destructive things about us was someone whom we … Continue reading “Going to spiritual war with prayers”
Divorce Minister Blog Persists!
God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. 4 He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. -2 Corinthians 1:3b-4, NLT As long as the church fails to take adultery seriously … Continue reading “Divorce Minister Blog Persists!”