31 To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. 32 Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” -John 8:31-32, NIV One of the more enduring negative impacts from Cheaters and their allies are the lies they tell us about ourselves. Some have … Continue reading “Learning truth”
Silly trigger
Grief is a funny thing. We can be fine for days, weeks, months, and even years. Then in a moment a song or smell transports us back to a memory of what was lost. This is what happened to me recently. I was going through music for worship services. A particular hymn came up, and … Continue reading “Silly trigger”
“Telling would hurt his reputation.”
“Telling would hurt his reputation,” says Cheater Apologist. No, what has harmed his reputation is behaving in a harmful way. People knowing about it is just revealing his TRUE reputation. Faithful spouses are often too hesitant to speak the ugly truth about their cheater. They worry that they would be wrong to say out loud … Continue reading ““Telling would hurt his reputation.””
My thoughts on dating
When I started dating for the second time, I had a few things I promised myself to do and some things I learned along the way (to Mrs. DM): I did not start dating until after I was officially divorced. My stance is that I needed to see the divorce to go through to be … Continue reading “My thoughts on dating”
Not Blaming: Who does it really benefit?
Not Blaming: Who does it really benefit? I would argue refusing to assign blame in a situation with marital infidelity “benefits” the cheater. They get to be treated as if what happened was either a shared problem or an unfortunate event (both lies, by the way). In other words, they get to avoid taking responsibility … Continue reading “Not Blaming: Who does it really benefit?”
Memories bring grief
Grief comes in waves. It ambushes you sometimes from nowhere. I was collecting pictures for an old friend who knew me in my previously married state. In fact, he was the best man at that wedding–i.e. the wedding where I married my cheater. So, it is not surprising the review of those photos brought back … Continue reading “Memories bring grief”
Eyes of faith – Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. -Romans 8:28, NKJV Sometimes, Christians use this verse to short-circuit the grieving process. They try to silence someone in pain by quoting this at them. That is unhelpful. While I believe the Bible … Continue reading “Eyes of faith – Romans 8:28”
A mere footnoote
So the Lord blessed Job in the second half of his life even more than in the beginning. -Job 42:12a, NLT Faithful Spouses, we have a choice: Do we keep on allowing the cheater to be the central player in our life story or do we go out and take command of our story forging decisions … Continue reading “A mere footnoote”
Refuse Responsibility For Emotional Affairs
“If only you had spent more time talking with me, I wouldn’t have cheated on you with him,” says Cheater. Do NOT take responsibility for your cheater’s emotional affair! Your cheater–and others–may try to blame you for being cheated on, but that is just wrong. The cheater could have chosen otherwise. She is 100% responsible … Continue reading “Refuse Responsibility For Emotional Affairs”
A song to soothe
Songs are such wonderful gifts. I find music helps me move truth from my head down to my heart. Here’s one song I love to listen to when I feel anxious. It helps me reconnect with the truth of God’s love for me. The song is “No Longer Slaves” by Bethel Music: *This post ran … Continue reading “A song to soothe”