“O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!”
-Matthew 23:37, KJV
Even Jesus did not force reconciliation of His Bride!
This is what this verse from Matthew tells us. It grieved Jesus deeply; however, he accepted the reality that “Jerusalem” rejected him and refused to reconcile.
An important lesson can be learned from this:
If the perfect Son of God could not–or would not–make a reconciliation with Jerusalem–the people of his first covenant–then maybe we ought to follow his lead on this when faced similarly with a cheater refusing to repent and reconcile. We may grieve, but we ought to respect their choices to refuse the godly path.
Though sad, I find this encouraging. Like Jesus, we faithful spouses were not given a reconciliation option with a repentant cheater.
Jesus embodied love. Sometimes that meant accepting the poor decisions of others to reject Him. This is mature love.
For us to be like Jesus, we–too–may need to accept the poor decisions of others to reject us and God. Divorce is one way to acknowledge that.
It looks like Jesus “would have” reconciled if Jerusalem were willing. If a cheater refuses to repent and reconcile, we can’t make them. However, if a cheater does repent and desire to reconcile, do we not do well to reconcile, rather than divorce? We need to use wisdom and attempt to discern if the cheater truly has repented, but ultimately only the Holy Spirit knows their heart. It is for us to move past our pain and betrayal to reconcile, rather than refuse to be with them again.