“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
-I John 1:9, KJV
What good is forgiveness to someone who does not think he or she did anything wrong?
It is worthless.
They are not in bondage to a conscience warning them of spiritual danger. Instead, like a person chopping off their frozen foot, they are not even aware of what needs to happen to keep them whole.
This principle of acknowledging wrongs first applies to victims as well.
I cannot give something over to God in forgiveness if I have not made peace with the idea that I was actually wronged. We do not forgive anything less than a wrong.
This is why I believe part of the healing process in addition to the grief process is facing the reality of the wrongs. We must walk in the truth even when it is an ugly truth.
One ugly truth is the truth that a cheater engaged in abusive measures.
Some will never seek forgiveness for those abusive things, sadly. Such cheaters are like the man with a frozen foot who is oblivious to how his actions are literally cutting off his own toes.
I do not believe we are spiritually whole until we experience forgiveness. So, that means–as I understand it–cheaters who do not seek forgiveness are not whole. They are certainly NOT healthy.
That is the natural spiritual consequence of ignoring the need to heal relationships damaged by one’s own actions.
Forgiveness begins with acknowledging wrongs.
This is true both as the perpetrator and as the wronged party. It is only when facing the spiritual reality can the proper remedy be applied. Denial of spiritual reality–i.e. a wrong occurred–can only lead to sickness.
