13 Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.”
Nathan replied, “The Lord has taken away your sin. You are not going to die. 14 But because by doing this you have shown utter contempt for the Lord, the son born to you will die.”
-2 Samuel 12:13-14, NIV
God forgave David for murder and adultery.
It says so here.
However, God still leveled consequences on David. His son died. He faced humiliation later by his son Absalom. He also was not allowed to build the Temple.
Forgiving a cheater does not mean the infidelity never happened. Nor does it mean pretending this awful thing never occurred.
It happened.
A natural consequence to lying is broken trust. Only a fool trusts a proven liar. I do not suggest faithful spouses blindly trust their cheater again.
It is on the cheater to proven he or she changed.
They are the ones who have to repair the broken trust. Pastors who teach forgiveness as encompassing treating the offender as if the sin never happened are not teaching biblical forgiveness.
Forgiveness does not automatically equal repaired trust.
It is fine (and wise) NOT to trust the cheater even if you have forgiven him or her.
The rebuilding of trust is a different matter. It is what happens in reconciliation, which does entail the offender working to repair what they destroyed.
Forgiveness is about giving up our right to revenge (Romans 12:19).
We transfer it to God entrusting Him with the injustice. It does not automatically change the relationship with the offender.
That only changes through the offender repenting as I read the Bible (see Luke 17:3).
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