But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

-Matthew 5:32, NIV

“Yeah, we weren’t right for each other. But we are still friends,” says a divorcee.

Within Christian circles, the friendly divorce seems to be an ideal.

It is such a double standard!

On one hand, Christian circles despise divorce. Yet on the other, they uphold the standard of friendly divorce as the ideal where neither party has a bad word to say about the other.

I do not know about you, but I would still be married to my first spouse if she was capable of basic friendship behavior with me!

Another piece about this sort of narrative that bothers me is how it trivializes divorce. “Not getting along as married” is not a valid biblical reason for divorce in the Bible. Sexual immorality is!

I feel like this sort of divorce narrative adds fuel to the accusations aimed at faithful spouses who choose divorce. It plays into the trivial treatment of marriage accusation that some pastors use to condemn all divorcees.

Now, I am glad people can be civil with their ex-spouses. That is good.

However, friendship is not in the cards for those of us who were married to cheaters who continue to refuse to today to take full responsibility for the devastating impact of their lies and adulterous sin against us and God.