“Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.
-Ephesians 4:26-27, NKJV
Anger is a faithful spouse’s friend.
It is for moments like these that our wise Creator gave us the emotion of anger. This is a precious, precious gift of an emotion. It will help us move forward from a place of passivity to a place of active, sin-intolerance.
Christian culture is especially dysfunctional in its teachings regarding this emotion. I remember hearing teachings about how anger or rage is always wrong. This emotion is too often relegated to a place assigned to sin.
You see, the church seems too often to confuse doing sinful things in anger with being angry. The former is always wrong while the later is not.
So, in a way, the Christian culture has become complicit in preparing faithful spouses and others to become victims of abuse like adulterous situations:
They have taught in practice that the anger in response to their victimization is more wrong than the sins committed against them.
This is unhealthy and ungodly. If ever it was appropriate to be angry, it is when one has discovered one’s spouse has been lying, unfaithful partner!
That anger gives faithful spouses the energy needed to get out of dangerous situations where they are being victimized. It is that energy that motivates faithful spouses to tell those who might abuse them that they will not tolerate such wickedness. Such intolerance is a virtue and not a vice.
So, I will echo the words of the Apostle Paul:
“BE ANGRY (and do not sin)!”
I did and finally left last Thursday! I wasn’t trying to punish him. Found out something else and that did it. It seems to have scared the crap out of him. He’s talking and reaching out for help. Continue to pray for us. I see God working!
Marie,
I will be praying! Please remember that actions speak louder than words! I hope he truly repents and reconciliation is in your future!
In my case, I hoped my leaving would encourage my now X to truly seek God and the professional help needed.
It did not. However, he reveiled his true colors and it was a confirmation that leaving was the right thing for me to do.
I hope you have a good support system in addition to DM!