Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
-Matthew 5:23-24, NKJV
“God forgives me,” says “Christian” Cheater.
“Really?! What work have you done to reconcile with the victim of your sins?” – Biblical Pastor
The Bible is rather consistent that we are obligated to try and fix the relationships we destroyed by our sins to the best of our ability.
That is what I see in these words quoted from Jesus regarding leaving one’s sacrifice and attending to a wronged brother. God is not impressed with religious impression management.
God demands cheaters–like this religious person–work to restore what they broke. With anything less, Jesus seems to be saying that God is NOT okay with the wrongdoer.
This principle of working on reconciliation (which is NOT the same thing as marriage restoration) is why I find it dubious believing or assuring cheaters are right with God unless they’ve come clean with their adultery victim(s).
So, in a sense, I doubt cheaters are truly forgiven by God as long as they cling to their nasty secrets and blame-shift.
Ignoring one’s victims and then pretending all is well this God is living a lie. God is not impressed.
Cheaters are deceiving themselves–that they are alright with God–as long as they continue to refuse to repent of their adulterous ways and apologize to their victims for wronging them.
I’ve never understood how a “Christian”
can marry their affair partner and claim that they’ve repented from committing adultery against original spouse. They say being faithful to the spouse in the new marriage shows that they have repented from being an adulterer.
I fail to see how marrying the affair partner and being a “good faithful” spouse to them is walking out repentance. To me they’ve followed their sin unto compltion. How can someone repent from adultery and reconcile the relationship with that spouse when they are continuing in it?
For this to be rationalized as acceptable than “marriage” must be what they’ve sinned against – not the person in the marriage! A marriage vow is made with another person & God. They’ve sinned against God & the person they are married to! Marriage is a word that defines a specific relationship.
Nyra, it’s not okay! They will never be the same even if it looks like it on the outside! I’m so sorry!!
I don’t think so either.
It appears to me that they are still in sin, they’ve followed their sin unto completion & chosen to continue in sin rather than repenting from it.
I think they also like to get their faithful spouse to initiate the divorce. Then they can claim to be the “victim” of divorce.
Nyra, thank you for this insight. You wrote “They say being faithful to the spouse in the new marriage shows that they have repented from being an adulterer.” and “For this to be rationalized as acceptable than “marriage” must be what they’ve sinned against – not the person in the marriage!”
I’m new to this “divorced” thing (4 years in), and this is the first time someone has been able to say the words in a way I can understand it. It clearly goes further down the road you’ve mentioned, to the point of even staying in the new relationship as if it is paying some sort of penance for the mistake of leaving the covenant marriage. I am amazed how God turns away from them, how He seems to shut off their thinking minds when He turns them over to the lusts of their flesh.
Thanks for the insights.